Failure before Officially Starting

Is it possible to fail your children before you ever meet them? A mother is supposed to protect her children. Yet I can't do a darn thing. In the last two weeks, I have looked at every option available to expedite, advocate, and educate myself with this adoption. These are my children, whether it is recognized legally or not, and I am willing to do whatever I can to get them home where I know they are safe. Unfortunately, there isn't much. I have already failed them. So in the meantime, I am trying to stay sane so I am not a complete basket case by the time they finally come home to us.

Many people, trying to be supportive, have said "it's all in God's perfect timing." Well, I don't think so. God's perfect timing doesn't include parents dying and children being orphaned. That sounds a hell of a lot more like Satan's perfect timing. Satan has worked his way so far into the bureaucracy of adoption it is unreal. I know God will get us through. It will be perfect timing when it really does happen, but it would have been perfect timing six months ago, a year ago, three years ago. It's going to be perfect because it will actually be happening. Another thing we have heard often is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Again this is wrong. God is giving us more than we can handle on our own. I know the only way I am still functioning is because I know that God has his arms around us. We may be falling but God will be there to catch us before we disappear. I think God allows really bad things to happen to draw us nearer to him.

No one ever said it was going to be easy because we have faith, our salvation, the grace from the creator himself. In fact, I truly believe the tighter you get with God, the closer your walk, the stronger your faith, the more Satan throws at you. It's like putting a big target on your back. Well Satan is working his magic. There are a multitude of emotions that have gone through this family lately.

All I have to say is bug off. Go pick on someone else. These are our children and we will wait until they are adults if we have to. My God is stronger than you. He is stronger than me. He is stronger than the courts and the governments. My God is perfect. And He will deliver us from evil. So go rear your ugly head somewhere else. Because our faith is actually stronger. Our marriage is better. And we are ready to fight back. Our journey has been difficult but we just get stronger each day. I might have failed today, but one day we will succeed at this.