Grace Amongst Chaos

This weekend was a difficult weekend. Everything that could possibly go wrong did. It started with a broke down car, proceeded to delays in the adoption, moved to canceling date night, continued on with a really rude cat lady at the grocery store, endured a broken sensor on our camera during a photo shoot (which ended the shoot in about 15 min), and finalized with our TV breaking. All this occurred on Friday and Saturday. I felt like whatever we touched, talked about, worked on, broke.

But two glorious hours on Sat, we worshiped. Not with music or even a message. We were able to be part of a group that packed bags of food for people in Tanzania. Through Africa Harvest of Hope, we packaged 25,000 meals in two hours. Talk about glorifying God. It was the best two hours I have had since we got our referral. Whatever frustrations I was having were totally removed. The entire time I also had a thought that somewhere someone else could be packaging food for Ethiopians. This food might go to a distant relative, family friend, or the orphanage of my boys. The world immediately felt small. And God seemed so big.

Thank you for blessing me God. Even in the chaos of the world problems; God is so much bigger. I will learn. I do trust. I have faith.

Check out this organization. It started with a local couple that not only wants to make a difference; they devised and carried out a plan to make a difference. They broke the huddle and got in the game. They are very inspiring. www.africaharvestofhope.org

More Setbacks = More Heartache

On Friday, we received a call from our case worker. I was expecting her to call sometime soon to tell us that we have a court date. All of the referrals from the same week as ours have received their court date.

She started the call with "I have some bad news but your boys are ok." Never good words to hear. The director of the orphanage where our boys were is no longer with the orphanage. He is the person who gathers most of the paperwork for the court hearings. Oh No! She says there won't be delays because the courts and MOWA are stepping in to keep the process rolling.

This is good news no? Well you see she proceeds to tell me that our boys are still at the orphanage. There was a mix up and one of the papers was not filed and our kids are still at the orphanage. This is where tears start to roll.

First, How on Earth did they not know where our kids were? This is kinda their job. Who knows what could have happened and no one would have known because they were supposed to be in Addis, not the orphanage.

Second, There is a family traveling next week that was going to take some updated pictures for us so we can see how they have grown. Information is very limited. I was excited to hear how the interaction went. Are they shy, boisterous, outgoing, playful, sick? Now that may not happen because they haven't been moved yet.

Third, At the House of Hope, the transition home, they start preparing the kids. Again, not happening.

Fourth, if this paper isn't filed how much longer until the rest is filed before we can get our court date.

I know that trials are supposed to bring us closer to God. I know I am relying on God. But Satan sure is testing faith. Our boys need to come home. They need parents. They need consistency. Please pray for our kids. Pray for the courts. Pray for Numan Orphanage. Pray for expediency. Pray for justice. God says the orphans will get fathers. Pray for that. Pray for God's will. And if there is time Pray for my sanity. I feel like I am losing it.

Love, Love, Love

This weekend was filled with love. It started with the exchanging of wedding vows between my best friend and her best friend. It was a beautiful day. Beautiful setting, Beautiful Bride, and Beautiful ceremony. It was small and intimate. Just what the couple ordered. Now they are spending 2 weeks in Jamaica. What a way to spend the first two weeks of your married life. I am so excited for them.

"I Do"

Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Lastra

Watching the Bride and Groom

Then on Saturday we had our adoption shower. I know that we are blessed. We both have an amazing family. Our parents are so supportive of the decisions we have made in life. Our siblings are funny, loving, and make our life fun along the journey. Our aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents are all so eager to meet the two newest members of the family. And then there is the extended family, our church family. We have been blessed with great friends that have known us since childhood. So there is this huge group of people that have been praying for our family. So now that the time is near, we all got together to celebrate.

What a celebration it was. The merriment in the house was so joyous. People were filled with questions and anticipation. All of the kids were eager to meet the new members. They were disappointed to learn that their cousins are still in Ethiopia, but they were excited for the occasion. There was so much food. We ate tacos until our hearts were content. It was so much fun. I was overwhelmed by the amount of love.

Our boys are already taken care of. They have clothes for all seasons. Awesome bikes, video games, board games, lots of great books and all of the little boy toys you can imagine. Thank you to everyone who joined in our celebration. We know that we are blessed in so many ways. We love you all and look forward to a life time of memories.

Here is one shot of all the presents for our kiddos. We were told that we would now need a storage unit for all of their gifts.

Oh the joy of being a Bridesmaid!!!

This Friday, tomorrow, I am the bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. There is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes of a wedding and it isn't just on the wedding day. But this morning I was thinking about all of the times we have had together and I felt so honored to be part of such a momentous day.

I love being married. I like being a wife, homemaker, friend, opposition and a lover. I think being married is God's greatest gift to people. I love that we have a choice. We choose our mates through quite a tedious process. (Well it should be anyway.) We go on dates, introduce them to our family and friends, share our secrets and most intimate moments and then after weighing all the negative against the positive we make a decision. If all the good qualities outweigh the few annoying ones, we have a match.

I got married early, we were twenty one. I have watched so many people go through the dating process. I think the more applicants there are the harder the choice. I love the fact that Nick and I didn't come to our relationship wounded from others. People will say "you missed out." or "how do you know that there wasn't someone else out there." But no matter how long your list is, this question still exists. So if the question is there regardless, isn't it easier to not have the long list of broken relations and pain? Just a question to the skeptics who think people who get married early are naive.

Nick and I know each other's stories because we were both there. We know our pasts better than any of our friends know us. We know what makes each other tick and why that makes us tick. Yet we were still pliable enough to grow together and share our commonalities, such as religion, politics, and humor.

I am so excited for Heather to join the journey. I am not stupid enough to know you don't have to fight for your marriage. But I know that she and Omar are a good match. I have watched her grow. She has learned to stand up for herself. He pushes her and she pushes back. They are equals in each other's eyes. I think that is very important. They both do things to make the other person happy. Again, this is huge. It can't be one-sided. So tomorrow at 4 o'clock after all the hair, make up and pictures, I get to be part of, witness to a God created moment. A moment of completeness. When two people make a promise to each other that their own needs are no longer first. A promise stray to no other. A promise make compromises when needed. A promise to be a best friend. And a promise to protect each other. What joy it is to be a Bridesmaid!!!

National Adoption Month

This is National Adoption Month. It is quite timely. Our church has made a promise to support IJM, International Justice Mission, a really proactive organization that helps rid modern day slavery, sex trafficking, illegal seizure of property and many other crimes that God truly hates. We also belong to the Mocha Club. This organization takes 7 dollar donations, (the price of 2 mochas) and donates to different needs in Africa. We are currently supporting orphanages and education through the Mocha Club. Of course we are adopting the two most beautiful boys in the world. And yesterday my mother-in-law hosted two very gracious Ugandan boys from the Matiska Children's Choir. I feel like there are signs from Africa all over the place.

So last night we joined Kathy, my mother-in-law, and the two boys and chaperon from Uganda. The boys were 9 years old and 14 years old. The bright smiles warmed my heart. They were so cute. They were polite, gracious, and soooooo positive. They talked about being the first in their families to ever travel on a plane. The nine year old loves swimming and the 14 year old is totally fascinated by roller coasters. They talked about how cold the weather in Seattle was. How strong the coffee is and how Americans love their sweets. Everything was great, exciting, and happy. I loved every minute of that dinner. I started thinking about my boys and all of the stories that I hope they will remember from Ethiopia.

We finished the boys room just in time to learn that there are going to be delays in our time line. It seems that the MOWA, Ministry of Women's Affairs, need more time to process the paperwork in between Court and the Embassy appointments. This whole process has been a whole lot of hurry up and wait. I have never been so emotional in my whole life. We are so close, there is this big bright light at the end of the tunnel, yet it seems like the waiting will never end. I spent this weekend being angry at the "injustice".

I was mad. I have never been this mad before. Never. It was quite frightening. I prayed and my thoughts tended to lead right back to being frustrated at the people who were holding our kids hostage. I finally fell asleep Sunday Night and when I woke up I felt much more at peace.

I believe a big part of this has to do with my blogger friend, Elisa. When she heard the news, mind you she was supposed to travel later this week, she resorted to James 1:2 Consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything. I looked to a person I have never met but feel connected to very strongly and she had peace. And was working to find the joy in the situation.

I am not joyful that it may take a month longer but I am joyful the my God is faithful. I am joyful that my boys are safe. I am joyful that we no longer wait for the unknown. I am joyful that we have so much support. I am joyful that there are so many people that are waiting to love our kids. I am joyful that we are in the position to be able to afford this adoption. So thank you Elisa and thank you Lord.

I am joyful that it is National Adoption Month and there is more awareness for orphans around the world. Please pray for the millions and millions of orphans that don't have parents waiting to love them.

Happy Halloween

This was our first year since our marriage that we have not had a huge Halloween Bash!!! With all of the preparations for becoming a family, we decided that this year was too busy. Good thing. We went and got all of our vaccinations on Friday. Yeah!!! One more item to check off the list. Shots were not bad but we woke up Saturday all feverish. Needless to say we were very happy that we were not transforming our home into a haunted house for the evening.

We were fortunate to join some great friends for chili and trick or treating. It was laid back and mellow. Just what the doctor ordered. Nick went trick or treating with the other husband and their children. The look on Nick's face was priceless. He absolutely loved walking around with the kids throughout the neighborhood. He was so excited to do this with our sons next year. It made me fall in love all over again.

Nesting

This part of the journey is very difficult. I thought waiting the two years prior was hard, boy was I wrong. Knowing that your children are under the care of someone else and at the moment you are a number waiting for an appointment with an Ethiopian judge is not comforting.

I know that the House of Hope, (transition home) is a very loving place and that our children are being loved on and cared for, it's just not the same as having them in your own care.

To keep my mind off of many thoughts, I have been getting things ready on the US front.

First we ordered bunk beds.

Next we tackled the mess that was of the spare bedroom.

Then the beds were delivered and we assembled them.

(How many people does it take to assemble bunk beds? 6! yep it took 6 of us.)

Nick installed a new light which required him to into the attic to run wires,

While I painted.

Then we painted the tribal and animal border. Thanks Laura-Lee!!!

This week we hope to nail the baseboards back up and put the room in order.

In the meantime I have bought the bedding, an art kit, a few toys and am beginning to pick up some clothes for the kids. I love shopping normally, but to finally be able to buy things for the boys is so much better.

We have registered at Target. That was a lot of fun. There are so many things that we need for them. Usually by the time someone is seven they have seven years of things that they have accumulated. Not the case for our kids.

So much to do. Unfortunately we have a lot of time to get it done.

Ups and Downs, Ins and Outs

Over the last 25 months I have read so much about adoptions, adoption parenting, attachment, Ethiopia, manuals, procedures, etc. Yet I keep getting blind sided by different steps or paperwork that comes up in the process to bring our kiddos home.

Last Wednesday I was finally able to take our addendum, change to our initial age request on our home study, to the USCIS office in LA. My mom went with me and we had a nice day together. We sat in the office with the parolees, because apparently adoptions and parolees belong in the same small office of immigration, and watched as people came and went. I finally was called up to this small little window where I had to stand on my knees. I handed over our paperwork again.

She said it was all up to par and told me to wait while they typed up the appropriate paperwork. We were given the paperwork, an appointment to be re-fingerprinted and were sent on our way.

The following Friday, Nick and I were re-fingerprinted and a huge relief was taken off my chest. The weekend was a busy one but it was nice to know that there wasn't any adoption paperwork that hasn't been done.

That is that we knew of... Monday after work we received a call from immigration stating that we needed to have a home study update in addition to the addendum. So I ask our case worker what that entails and she said basically regathering all of our info. Background, medical, career, recommendations, all of it. That was it. This was were I finally felt overwhelmed.

Tears fell. So I called our social worker and they directed me to the quickest way to do everything. So tomorrow we are going to get fingerprinted with the state of CA and get our vaccinations.

I will take this one step at a time. But today, my mom, my sister and I are going to the Day Spa. We are going to relax. My brother in law flew to Afghanistan this morning. So stress is high on the radar in our family this week. But if we take it one day at a time, we are going to make it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is shining on two little boys who are our sons.

Missed Posts

I was unable to post during the acceptance of our referral. We had some technical difficulties. But I managed to journal. So I am going to add my journal entry.

September 12th, 2009

We are going to be parents. FINALLY. Our boys, our boys, I can't believe it, are 7 and 4 years old. We have been praying on this decision for a few weeks. I was so certain, then I panicked. Would I be able to parent a 7 and 4 year old? Would I be ok if I never had an infant? Is our little condo big enough for four people? Was their past more than we could handle? Would they attach to us? They will always remember their biological parents, so will that lessen our role somehow? But tonight we prayed. Silent, on our knees, it was us and God.

God has called us to love. I have never been so sure of any decision. All of my fears, questions, are gone. During our prayer tonight God spoke to us. At the same moment we both knew it. I had the image of all the warrior women of the Bible. Nothing God has ever called us to was guaranteed to be easy. Shoot, why would I think parenting would be easy. God is amazing. I know we were spoken to directly by God.

We have are a family of four. We sent off the email to our case worker and called my parents.

My poor dad was on his way out to work, it was 9:30 at night, but I told him to wait. They were waiting in their driveway, We had their picture on my phone and showed them for the first time their grandsons.

TEARS everywhere. Of course there are lots of questions but so many happy smiles were in that driveway. We talked for a few hours and finally made it home. In a few months, this home will be filled with children's laughter and giggles, the absolute best sound in the world.

I am so in love!!!! I know every mother thinks that their children are the most beautiful children in the world, but mine really are.

Humbled by God's Love

This weekend I was unable to attend Church. My best friend is getting married in three weeks and we had a girls weekend in San Diego. I received a text message from Nick that brought me to tears. It read... families from church handed me an envelope of cash to help bring the boys home.

A very dear family hosted a block yard sale and gave all of the proceeds to us to help bring the kids home. I was so taken back. I know God's love daily. But God's love through his people is equally amazing. I can not tell you how surprised, humbled and thankful I was for this gift.

Thank you