YEAH!!! Good news today...

The girl I want to share a contract with next year is a definite go. The only hang up is she teaches first and would like to stay there and I teach fifth and would like to stay there so it is up to God. I will leave it to Him to help make the choice.

The other set of good news. I did not realize that our fee schedule was locked into place. So the fees I thought were increasing weren't. Thank the Lord. We weren't sure where we could come up with the increase.

Finally finished massive amounts of photo editing. Time to send them off to clients and hope they refer more clients.

I am enjoying the Children's Hope Yahoo group. In one day I have already received many welcomes and no longer feel like we are so alone in the process. It is wonderful to converse with people in a similar situation. I have many friends that are preggers or have recently given birth but the wait is much different. The wait is for an unknown. Unknown date, unknown ages, genders, abilities, children. It is a very weird feeling.

Many times I feel guilty for being so eager for a mother to give up her child. At what point does my selfish want and need for a family become ill-willed. Very few people have understood what I am saying. Many people act like adoption is this self sacrificing act. Isn't that what parenthood is all about. Doesn't every good parent sacrifice their own needs and wants for what is best for their child? I think adoption is only self-sacrificing for the birth family. They have truly given a sacrifice for their child. I can not imagine the feeling. It must be an infinite amount harder than facing infertility and waiting a short while for your children. To give them up and never know what has become of them. These mothers are truly angels.

Tonight's prayers will focus on a mother's love and grief.