LIfe is...

Life is uncertain. This is about the only guarantee you get in life. One minute you feel as though the whole world is crashing around you and something small such as a smile from a stranger or a card from a friend can start to lift your mood. I am just so thankful for my faith and my God to get us through the tough times.

Life is perfection. I just had a lengthy discussion with a friend about why believers still have trials. The timing was kinda crazy because we just discussed this in our Bible Study. God's timing is impeccable. I don't know if she came any closer to God on this day, but I do know that knowing what God says about trials and being able to relate His word to her will be a link in the chain to her salvation. I have been her friend for over ten years and this was our first discussion about my faith and what trials have done to my faith. Some may say the timing was coincidence, but I believe it was God's.

Life is heartbreaking. At the moment, my sister and brother in law are moving all of their belongings out of their little home and into a littler room at my parents. You see, my brother in law is in the reserves. He will be joining the forces in Afghanistan soon and my sister did not want to live alone for the next ten months so she moved back in with my parents. Amidst the battle of moving, they are also saying good bye. Try saying good bye when you have all your friends and family crammed into an 800 square foot home. It is awful to watch. People start crying all the time. They are so strong.

Life is joyous. Here is where those trials come back into play. The trials of my life require me to depend on God more. Thus I read his word, become more absorbed, and more aware of the the Holy Spirit. Talk about joy. Remembering we are not alone... What more joy can you have.

Life is vicarious. Several times a day I read adoption blogs. These are blogs of strangers who I feel close to. I read about their days and it is awesome to see the various steps along the way. I read several blogs of families who have returned home. (I can only hope my children will be as beautiful) I read blogs of people waiting to travel, waiting for court, or waiting for referrals. (We are still in the latter group) I know that there are children waiting for us but it is reassuring to know of others who are going through the exact same emotional journey.

Life is life. We never know what will happen next. We don't know how much more time we have or how we affect those around us. I am just happy that I have the life I live with the people I live it with.

Time...

Time is such a relative concept. When you are a kid the summer seemed to last forever. The days of sunshine, splashing and Popsicles seemed to never end. We get a little older and it seemed as though our sixteenth birthday would never near. OR those long lingering seconds right before your first kiss seemed as though time stopped.

But as we turn into adults time seems to get away from us. Casual weekends turn into trips, errand running or just your run of the mill days but they tend to fly by. It's amazing how little we stop just to enjoy a beautiful day. A whole month has gone by since my little fifth graders graduated elementary school. A whole Month. This is craziness. (I have managed to let a few days linger.)

Any how, on the 8th of this month was our Nine month mark of waiting. When we started this process we were told 6-10 months tops. Well that doesn't seem likely. August 12th will be two years since we started this process and September will be 4 since we started trying to have a family.

Time again is a conundrum. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "It's all in God's time", "You are getting good practice in patience", "Once you have your child the time will be forgotten." While I know these are all true, I have heard every pregnant person complain around 7 months that they just want to see their child. 4 Years!!! That is a long time to wait when you are ready to be a parent. I could have another college degree by now. Some friends are on their third child in the time it is taking us to have one.

My, My, My! I am praying/pleading with God that our child is with us or at least we know who he/she is before Christmas. So please pray for all of the children without parents and the parents without children because everyone can always use God's Love.

5 years!!!

Today is Nick and my anniversary. It has gone by so quickly. We were some of the first of our friends to get married and many people said we were too young. Well, I think they were all wrong. I absolutely love being married. I don't know who does not want to be connected to your best friend forever. God gave us the greatest gift when he gave us matrimony. There is no one who will love, understand, or comfort us like our spouse.

I am truly blessed to have found such a patient, understanding, intellectual man. I know there are so many days that I take him and our relationship for granted, but when I slow down and think about all the wonderful memories (there have been some not so wonderful memories too:) I can't help but smile and thank God.

It's amazing how much you can do in 5 years. Moved three times, many vacations, bought a house, started a church, made and lost friends, lost family members, been in numerous weddings, started our careers, started our own bussiness, changed careers, tried to start a family, and started an adoption. Through all of the ups and downs, I know in my heart, there is no one else I could have made it through all the trials with other than Nick. I not only made it through but ended up with a smile on my face. I have truly loved being his wife and can't wait to be the mother of our children.

Here are some wedding photos...

And some from the other day...

Oh how the time flies!!!

Schooooool's out for Summer

Well June 12th came at last.  Didn't quite seem like the last week of school.  We are having unusual weather in Cali.  Last year, at the fifth grade promotion was a day of 112 degree sun.  This year was a very cool 58 degrees. The promotion went well and I will miss this group.  

I have one little boy whom really came into his own this year.  He pitched in half the amount for a new suit for graduation.  he had earned $75.oo so he could look "successful and distinguished."  He looked so sharp and his parents were the only in my class that could not make it.  It broke my heart.  

He explained that his father is very sick and went back to Mexico because they couldn't afford health care in the US.  He is being sent back with his older brothers to help earn money.  He said he will only go to school part time in Mexico.  He left this morning.  This little boy raised his reading level by three grades and brought his math scores up two band levels on the CST.  This is quite an accomplishment for a student that takes care of three little ones after school so his mom can work two jobs.   He explained that he was ready to join the workforce and take care of his family because that is what men do.  This little boy has the weight and responsibilities of most 30 year olds and is doing it with more integrity than many of the "fathers" I have met.  

 I am praying that the situation changes and he gets to be a kid again.  He is in my heart constantly.

Fifty Years

We were blessed to have the opportunity to meet an incredible couple this weekend. They are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversery this weekend and we were able to take photos of them. This is quite an accomplishment now a days. They said the key to fifty is "To have the same religion, politics, and sense of humor." They were so cute... and we learned so much in the short time we had with them.

Blessings of Life

This was a crazy weekend in our household. The type of weekend that makes you sit down and have some serious God time and count all of your blessings. My Aunt (46 years old) had a brain aneurysm this weekend. The symptoms were quick. Apparently only 50% of people survive the outcome. We were so fortunate that the aneurysm did not rupture. It leaked, causing a severe headache and confusion. The surgeons were able to preform a coil embolism (spelling?) which is the best treatment. They place several small platinum coils in the vein in her brain, through a vein in her leg. The surgery was successful and she is expected to make a full recovery. No delays, no problems. Modern Medicine in amazing. But God's small blessings, family, friends, love, sunsets, emotions and lastly, GRACE is inconceivable. Thank you God for your Daily Miracles.

11 days and counting

I have a delightfully, brilliant, sweet 5th grade class this year. I have great memory after great memory of their shining faces. This week however, my elementary students became middle schoolers in heart and attitude. I love them dearly and am sad to see them grow up.

I know they are equipped with skills that will lead them down many different walks of life. Each one destined for something different. I wish we could keep track of them and be there to encourage and cheer them on in low times. Be there to pat them on the back in high times. And be there to just smile and tell them I told you, you could do it when they achieve great things.

Next year I will share a contract look forward to getting elementary students back. It is amazing how quickly the year flies by. Good Luck class of 2016. Looking forward to seeing you achieve great things.

Surrogacy

I have directed my motherly instincts into a very small salsa garden. I am not your typical green thumb. Until this recent venture I have killed every plant I have ever owned, including the unkillable Bamboo in water. But this little garden is different. Or maybe I am different, who knows. I come home every day and inspect for bugs or weeds. I love to water it. The dogs get to run around while I am soaking in the sun and tending my little garden. I measure its growth and compare it to my Dad's very large garden. ( His tomato plants are 3 x's the size of mine and they came from the same 6 pack.) I don't care that my plants seem behind in growth, they are growing.

I kind of feel like these small delicate tomato plants are like my unknown children. They need my attention and I give them what they want. It is not your typical garden. It is in a little planter in our front yard of our small condo. They are not growing at the "typical" rate of the other plants but they are perfect for our small house hold.

I am sure I sound crazy and I am not saying gardening is anything near parenting but at the moment I can focus and enjoy one of life's slower things.

And guess what? Today the first tomato appeared. Look at the picture above. I was so excited to see it bearing fruit. Seems perfect to me.

Love The Sun

I must say that living in California has its perks.  We are so blessed to be graced with so much sunshine.  I love the family time we get to have at my parents house around the pool.  Nothing beats the whole family getting together to swim, lounge, and barbecue.  I think we can say, it is officially summer.

The Wonder and Miracle of Prayer

Today was a day of faith for the Crain Household. We found out this morning that the wait for our children could be close to 18 months till the referral and close to 22 months before we bring them home. Apparently our request for siblings under the age of 3 is quite popular. This was unknown to us.

The last few weeks have been pretty slow on the referrals for our agency. This is due to a number of factors. None of which any one or agency is to blame, well except the few people who try to break the rules. But this was no one at our agency or any way affiliated. In fact our agency is dedicated to following a strong ethical code and making sure all the t's are crossed and the i's are dotted. However, this has slowed down the number of children being referred at this time, even though the number of orphan children continue to rise.

So this morning we talked with our social worker about breaking points. She told us we could change the age we have requested, change to a single child, or continue to wait it out. So far there is one family that has been waiting 14 mos and still no referral. After we got off of the phone with her we realized yet another way we pictured our life could be different. We are not making any rash decisions. We are going to pray for a while and wait til we feel peaceful about a decision.

If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for the Crain's. If you don't believe, still pray!!! It is truly the best we can always do. Because we can't do much without Him.