God's Gift

October and November

2010-12-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

Well, the holiday season officially flew by. It has been three months since I last posted. So much has gone by. We have done so much and blogging is getting increasingly harder. But I am going to try to commit to weekly so I have the memories saved in words.

October came and went. The boys absolutely loved Halloween. They were both Batman. Dawit was the original Batman and Sintayehu went as the Dark Knight. We had a whole weekend of festivities between school, church, family and friends. Dawit wore his costume for 8 straight days. At School we had a Fall Festival. It went well but the best part was the Magic Show. Sintayehu was picked to help out and his expressions were hilarious. We went to the pumpkin patch with the Diehls and the Dolls. It was so much fun. We got some good family pictures as well.We had a Halloween Party at my parents. It was so much fun. We did all sorts of Halloween games for the kids. They had a great time. The following night was Trick-or-treating. They were shy at first but figured it out really fast. We went trick-or-treating with the Brownings and Harris'.

Sintayehu in the slingshot at the pumpkin patch.

Dawit in the slingshot at the pumpkin patch.

Silly Boys

Took the boys to see Willy Wonka at the local theater.

Trying to walk in Mommy's shoes

Carving Pumpkins

Carving Pumpkin
Browning, Harris, Crain Clan + Sara

Batman to the rescue!!

During Veteran's Day weekend, we took the boys to Vegas. We stayed with my Auntie Tammy and Uncle Alan. We went to the Hoover Dam. This was the Highlight for S. He loved reading all of the facts for the building of the dam. He even got to stand in two states at once. He straddled the border of Nevada and Arizona. My Uncle told us of all the shows we could go see and then the boys asked if they could ride the escalator. We decided all of the free Vegas stuff would be exciting enough after that.

Loving the Escalators!!!

Just us!!! at the Hoover Dam

Inside the Dam

The Crains in front of the oldest working Crane

More Escalators :)

Thanksgiving was so much fun. They couldn't believe that we, Americans, had a holiday devoted to eating. We watched movies on the pilgrims and Indians. Talked about the first Thanksgiving and talked about being grateful. We had Thanksgiving at my sister's house. She cooked a fabulous meal and there was way to much food of course. Then my mom and I went to Walmart for the Black Friday deals. We were there from 10- 6 and boy were we tired.

Sintayehu's soccer team is doing great. They were league champions and are going on to defend Yucaipa in the Commissioner's Cup in Temecula the first weekend of December. He is so excited. The practices are bloody cold. It has even snowed on us one night. I come to practice wrapped in several layers with a heater and the cold is still nipping at my toes. Can't wait for the tournament.

Sintayehu with his trophy

Sintayehu performed skits from the Bible at a convalescent home with his youth group at the end of the month. The residents seemed to enjoy themselves but even more importantly, all of the kids want to go back soon. They are developing a servant's heart so quickly. They just seem to get it at this age.

Sintayehu was Jesus Healing the Leper

Family Pics Taken by a great friend.

Shooting off Rockets in the park.

Awe

2010-10-12T20:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know how long I will have feelings of pure joy and an overwhelming sense of amazement at the fact of becoming a mother, but I hope it is for the rest of my life. This morning, as I was dropping Sintayehu off at school I became overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude towards God's awesome and perfect plan. I started thinking back to before our plan was reshaped by God's.

Our family began before Nick and I were even together. We were very good friends, even tried "going out" in the 8th grade, but in March of 1999, we were mere Juniors in High School. But across the world in a little village in Ethiopia, a woman, my age, was giving birth to a perfect little boy. While I was worrying about who I would go to Junior Prom with or giggling with excitement that I made CIF in swimming and was going to do an overnight swim meet with our Co-ed Swim team, a girl of the mere age of 16 was beginning her journey to motherhood. She was looking at our little angel. She walked to the hospital and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. A boy that she would love, feed, hold, cuddle, and sing to. A boy that she would teach Jesus to, even though she couldn't read the Bible. A boy that she would teach to work hard and take pride in whatever he was doing. So, while I was doing traditional "American Teenage" activities: college prep, sports, dances, hanging out; our son was being raised very well by an incredibly loving woman.

I am grateful for their first mother. Grateful that she went on to have another son. Around the same time that Dawit was born, I was praying for a double line on a pregnancy stick. We had our first "scare." Scare for Nick, Dreams for me. I was two weeks late and while I knew we said we would wait two years before trying to have kids, I was ready and hopeful for this little skipped cycle. It stirred a yearning and desire to become a mom. Well, a week later and four negative sticks later, my cycle was back on track. There was never confirmation as to why it was so late, but in my heart of hearts, I had a very early miscarriage that never truly started enough to show positive on a test. But so started the quest for trying.

It took Nick 6 more months before he would actively try to start a family. We thought it would be easy. Huh, boy were we wrong. Little did we know that starting a family would test our marriage in ways we didn't know possible. But we clung to eachother, and finally laid it all out for God. We prayed, fasted, read, meditated on scripture, but month after month, the answer was no. All of our initial fertility tests came back inconclusive. At the same time I started undergoing allergy treatment and tests. Turns out, I am allergic to everything. So we weighed our options and prayed. We prayed for a family.

God definitely showed us that family doesn't have to share DNA. We both knew where we were being directed. All the while our family was growing across the world. First steps were being taken, first words were being spoken. Car crashes, falling off of horse drawn-carts, sibling fights. S started kindergarten, first grade, second grade, and third grade and D was getting ready for preschool when their world was turned upside down. I am sure it crumbled and became dark. They didn't know what was going to happen to them. I know they were SAD. A sadness I can't comprehend. I have never lost a parent. They were scared. A fear so primal that they resorted to infant behaviors for a while. Again, something I can't fathom. I have always been safe.

But through the dark and across two continents and an ocean there was a couple who was praying for a family. Through the darkness, pain and grief, God was growing another family for these beautiful boys. God does not promise to keep us from suffering. But He does promise to deliver us from evil. If we choose to love Him, He promises to grant us the desires of our hearts. Even if our desires are not know fully to us. We prayed for the love of children. It didn't matter the age, gender or circumstances. We knew we had love to give and we just needed children who could receive it. So today I was in complete AWE of a God so grand.

This is what pure joy can look like if we trust in HIM.

It's not at all what I thought my family would look like in 1999 when I was 17 years old. But in 2010 at 28, I can't dream of it any other way.

Apple Picking, Soccer, Flu and Freak Storms

2010-10-02T19:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had the opportunity to get together with some of Nick's extended family. They came up for apple picking, or so they thought. Our weather has been weird enough this summer that the apples weren't quite ready. However the raspberries were delicious. We picked three baskets full and managed to avoid the bees. The bees were everywhere. Sintayehu DID NOT enjoy this activity and he made sure everyone knew it. It was really frustrating. Everyone else was having a good time though. We moseyed down the way to another family favorite ranch and no picking there either but we were able to make some Apple Cider. This was more Sintayehu's speed. (It was in the shade. He is not a heat kid and it was like the hottest weekend of the year.) Later we went to the park for a picnic with the family. The kids all got to play together and it was fun to see the boys hang out with their cousins.

We have been loving watching Sintayehu grow in his soccer skills. He is doing so well. We are just waiting for his confidence to grow. He plays to the ball and gets frustrated when he doesn't get the results he wants. But he's improved so much already.

Last week I managed to catch some kind of stomach bug. Ugg. Being sick is ten times worse as a mom. So much to do and I couldn't do anything but run back and forth from the bathroom to bed. But my mom came and helped while Nick was at work and Nick was awesome and got Dawit out of the house on Friday so I could get some more sleep. Today I am finally feeling better. By about noon I was able to stand with out the nausea. I can't tell you how many people thought we were pregnant. EVERYONE. But we aren't.

Today we had a great thunderstorm around 4:00. It was awesome. We played a family soccer game and had a great time. Sintayehu felt like he was back in Ethiopia. It was a lot of fun and fairly our of sorts for our neck of the woods. So we just enjoyed it.

6 months

2010-09-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today, our boys have been home for six months. It's funny, the time has flown by but it also seems like they have been our family forever. I just finished reading through all of the posts since they have been home. We've been busy ;). Oh my. It's so amazing to think how all of our pain, with the waiting and delays, has just absolutely disappeared. The boys have just filled up our lives with a love that I had never known. It's incredible, my relationship with them has caused so many other relationships to grow as well.

Nick and I are closer than ever. We may not have all of the alone time we we would like and our conversations are constantly interrupted but we have been filled with such a joy that we share together.

My mom and I are much closer. It took a little bit as we were finding our footing and what we could all handle; but my appreciating for her patience and willingness to help put or hang back has quadroupled. Plus I don't know how she managed all 3 ignite extra-curricular schedules.

Watching the patience my Dad has with the boys just makes mr respect him all the more. He is a very loving grandfather and Dad.

Nana and Poopa just absolutely adore the boys and thoroughly enjoy spending time with them. And they are always there for an encouraging word, we know how self soubt can haunt a parent

And my relationship with God has changed as well. Not because of a fulfilled promise but I can fully understand God's love for us. I couldn't quite comprehend his willingness to die on a cross for us. But I one hundred percent understand his desire for us to choose to love and praise Him.

I have been working on a slideshow but it's not done. Hopefully this weekend unwilling post it. Tomorrow, Nick and I are going to our 10 year reunion. Grandma is taking te boys to chuck e cheeses, so hopefully Sintayehu won't be upset that he is not invited. He thought it was really rude to put No children on the invitation.

For six months we have loved, battled, cried, mourned, grieved, rejoiced, learned, and grown. I can't wit to see what life continues to have in store for us.

Teeth

2010-09-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

My little man has not one but two loose teeth. He is so excited. I am so bummed. My baby is growing faster than I think is ideal. He wont look like a little kid with those gigantic teeth in his mouth. This is all just going too quickly. Today I decided our family will stay 28, 11, and 5 forever. Someone let me know where I can buy that machine to freeze time.

Ethiopian New Year, Soccer and Skateboarding

2010-09-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

We Are Blessed

Rocky Start

2010-09-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up to an 11 year old telling me we were late for school. We weren't. It was 5:45 in the morning and he didn't have to even wake up for another hour. Well the pestering continued and the morning turned into ka-ka. Each one of us yelled at someone. Every person in the house hit. And we were all miserable. Plus ants invaded every room in the house.

I needed to re-do the morning. I wish I could. I went down to their level and I shouldn't have. So I am making it up. I prayed for patience, peace, understanding of the crazy mood swings. And thank God, I was renewed.

Our afternoon has been wonderful. Homework is going smoothly. Little man went down for a nap and we will soon be taking showers so we can go to Bible study.

All I have to say is Thank you Lord for your constant power. You are so big and perfect. I constantly fall short and fail in so many areas, yet I remain in Your grace. I don't deserve redemption and renewal but You are faithful. Please use me as you see will. I am your servant and I will answer your call. Thank you for your abundant blessings. Amen

Whirlwind

2010-08-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last week went by so quickly. The Crain household was thrown into a blender and we all came out barely damaged.

I went back to work last week and while I only work part-time, the first week of school is a full week to get routines going, get to know the kids, and meet the parents. It was so difficult being away from the boys all week. I wasn't getting home until 4:30 or 5 and we were going straight to soccer practice, bible study or some other function. So it was a long week that went by in a blur. Plus add our 115 degree heat and a broken air conditioner, I was not a happy camper.

On Saturday, Sintayehu had opening ceremonies and his first "unofficial" soccer game. It was just a scrimmage, but they were in uniform, there were refs, and the mayor blew the whistle for the start of the game. Sintayehu was on cloud- nine. He had quite the cheering squad, Grandma, Poopa, Grandma Kathy, Uncle Richard and Trinity all showed up to watch his game. When his team scored, he ran to the nearest kid on his team and hugged him. It was really cute. Here are a couple of pictures from the game:

He got to do the kick off so he was super excited

Running for the ball

After the game.

This week I only work on Thursdays and Fridays so life is back on track. The boys behavior was so much better already. Mixing their routine up throws them for a loop which can be very difficult to navigate sometimes.

Sintayehu still loves school. I am proud of how well he is doing. He comes home and starts his homework with minimal hassle. We are working on him completing it and I checking it when he is done. His confidence level isn't very high for math so he wants constant reassurance that he is doing the step correctly. I am hoping by October he can do the lesson and let me look it over after he has finished. Luckily he is loving reading. He has almost finished all 4 "Diary of a Whimpy Kid" books in three weeks. He has about 40 pages left of the last book.

His mother had instilled self pride and effort into him so well. She is a woman that I respect and hope to meet the same expectations. I am so honored to get to know her through them and to raise them with the same values.

First Days of School

2010-08-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

Sintayehu started school on Monday. He was so excited. I was able to get a few pics before school but I goofed and the battery died after only a couple. I did get video though. It was really cute to see how excited he was. I walked him to his classroom and met his teacher. He immediately found a friend and joined the boys in his class.

When I picked him up he looked hot and tired. He said his brain was exhausted. It was difficult for him to translate so quickly. But he was eager to go back. Each day has gotten easier for him. He understands more and is slowly getting to know kids in his class. He got his first weekly progress report and the teacher said he is getting it. He got excellent on behavior, homework and classwork. He was even excited to do his weekend homework.

We were fortunate in that his teacher has had three students from Africa in the past five years. So his teacher was really excited to learn about another African country.

Dawit is still getting used to the day without his brother. On Day 3 of dropping off Sintayehu at school, Dawit says in a small little voice and a single tear on his cheek, "Good bye Sintayehu. I miss you" Check out the video of their reunion after the first day. *** sorry it's shakey. I was a bit excited myself ***

I am also going back to school next week. It is so hard to leave them. I hate it. I may be exhausted, tired, and overwhelmed; but I want to be the one to see them wake up, get home from school and learn new things. I don't like missing those moments. I am praying for peace and understanding as I return to work.

On a very happy note, our good friends the Doll's had a beautiful baby girl on Thursday. Her name is Ellery Von Doll. The family is healthy and smitten with their baby, and maybe a little sleep deprived. I am so excited for them. I can't wait to meet her, but I know how transition time is needed. So I am patient :)

Catching up Part 2

2010-08-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

So...

We had Sintayehu's 11th Birthday party on Saturday. It was beautiful weather. The kids all played very nicely together. Again I was expecting melt downs, especially from the little man but he did really well. Sintayehu allowed him to help and they got along very nicely. It was lovely. Everyone stayed long enough to dig up some dinner and continue chatting. It was great to have family and friends together twice in one month.

Opening gifts

It was a batman themed party

The next day we headed to church and after church we headed up the local mountains for some camping. Nick took this week off to spend as a family before there are some big changes (Sintayehu going to school, Me going back to work, and Dawit spending some days without his brother). It was great up there. The weather didn't peak above 75 the entire time we were there. The boys enjoyed the time up there. They learned how to play horseshoes, shuffleboard, and played some basketball with the "Big Boys" which resulted in some skinned knees. The boys also showed off their soccer skills and rode a horse for the first time. It was great. I told nick we should sell our house and live in a little trailer. And then no one would have to work. We could just spend our time as a family. He wasn't too keen on the idea. But we had a great time.

D-man checkin on his brother

Skills...

Family photo

Rock Climbing

A great way to carry your drink around the campground without looking like a lush.

Well we got home from camping and I called to get Sintayehu signed up for soccer and wouldn't you know it, he was going to have practice in two hours. So Nick and he ran out to get soccer gear while Dawit and I did some unpacking. We went to his first ever soccer practice and was tired but he loved it. He even asked to go running to build up his endurance. So cute.

Catching up part 1

2010-08-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

We have had such a good time lately that blogging has been neglected. But we are starting to get back into the swing of routine. So much has happened in the last month and a half. The boys are doing so well. Their English is wonderful. I can't even tell you how much they have learned. They are my heroes and my inspiration. I can tell you that I will be a very different teacher this year. I am coming at teaching with a whole new perspective. They will have made me a more effective, compassionate, patient, and repetitive teacher.

I am going to break this into a couple of posts. Updates on events, behavior, and how parenthood has changed me.

So first this is what we have been up to.

In July we had Dawit's Birthday party. We were expecting total meltdowns from both of them and to our surprise, they were both patient and extremely well-behaved. We were blessed with the presence of many close friends and family. We tried to keep it a kid oriented party; so we invited family and friends with kids.

Blowing out his candles.

So excited for his car.

After his birthday was done and over with we started getting Sintayehu ready to go to camp at forest home. He was up there for a week. I wasn't comfortable with him spending the night, even though a very close friend was up there with him. So we dropped him off at 7:00 in the morning and Nick picked him up around 9:30 at night. On Wednesday, Nick went up as the male counselor and he was able to spend the last two nights up there. He loved it. I am not sure how much of the biblical message he understood, but the social aspect was wonderful. He was able to hang out with 300 kids that were the same age. He had to make choices, be responsible, and make friends. The experience was priceless and he made memories and bonds that helped him feel more welcome in the US. He realized he had commonalities with these kids even though he has grown up with a completely different background.

The hike to their tent.

Straight into the pool

Meanwhile, Dawit and I had a very busy week. We went to the water park with a great friend and her two kids. Dawit is right in the middle of their ages. It was 113* that day and even the water felt hot. The kids had a great time and it was wonderful to be able to have some time with another adult. We also went to the circus, where my camera died, but Dawit was amazed the entire time. His eyes were big and the smile was huge. All of the kids around us were asking for glow in the dark necklaces Dawit wanted the motorcycle that they were riding in the globe.

My silly boy with his peanut butter sandwich.

Yes, we are sitting outside the park eating because we are CHEAP. They want $7 for a hotdog...CRAZY!

It was Nick's Birthday while they were at camp so Dawit and I made a cake and a birthday banner for him. We had a delicious dinner and the boys behaved very well all day for Daddy.

That following weekend we went to Camp Pendleton to camp with some great friends of ours. We had so much fun. Their were three families and the kids all got along great. It was a great time. It was some much needed connection with other families. We are so thankful to have the Brownings and Harris' in our lives. They fill our cups when they are low. Every family needs a few great people in their lives to help you keep going. They are ours. The kids swam in the ocean, flew kites, kayaked in the bay and we all went to see Toy Story 3. And of course, there were the campfires, where trivia, stories and jokes were being told. And the trip was topped off by a dolphin show in the waves not more than twenty feet out.

Kayaking with the crew.

Kids at Pizza Port in Carlsbad.

We celebrated my dad's birthday when we got home on Sunday. It was nice to swim and relax and of course, eat a delicious meal. It was a great evening and my whole family was there which is hard to do these days. The boys had fun playing in the pool with the family and my dad seemed so happy to have everyone home for his birthday.

The next day the boys and myself were treated to the aquarium of the pacific by the Rosenbaums. They are this amazing family, who also just grew their family through Ethiopia, that live close by and are friends with very old family friends of ours. It is amazing the connections being made. We had a great time. Our boys enjoy their boys so much and little Ruby is just a little princess. I am praying that a deep friendship will develop with this family.

Sintayehu loved the seals. He told me he wants to swim with the seals for his next birthday. Dawit was in love with the "Scudda divers" I can't wait to break out our equipment and let them try it in the pool.

Feeling the sting rays and sand sharks.

Sintayehu's profile and the jellyfish.

He loved watching all of the animals.

We enrolled Sintayehu in school last week. He is so exited. He brings it up several times a day. He was assigned a teacher and we tried to find his classroom but was denied access to the campus. Oh well, I think we might go check it out this weekend just to get some jitters and anxiety out. We got all of his school shopping done except for some clothes that he needs. He has grown so much in five months. 4.5 inches and 16 pounds. It's no wonder his legs hurt.

Last weekend was Sintayehu's "11th American Birthday". His real birthday is March 14th but all of the legal paperwork says August 7th. This is quite a big deal for a kid, but that is for a later post. We started the celebrations Friday night in Los Angeles. We went to Little Ethiopia and let him choose which restaurant he wanted. We can highly recommend Rosalind's and the Merkato. Meals by Genet is a little pricier and has more of a European flare to it but the food is delicious. But he wanted to try a new place so we went to the Little Ethiopian Restaurant. It was small but the service was excellent as well as the food. They all doted on our little men. After they found out it was his birthday they brought out a full birthday cake with 11 candles and some Ethiopian coffee and chai. DELICIOUS!!! You have not had good coffee till you have had freshly roasted Ethiopian coffee. The men sitting in the bar each congratulated him and gave him money with their handshakes. He was excited. The people are beautiful and there are few better activities than listening to the comfort of the boys speaking in their native tongue. It is a warming feeling, and I feel privileged to be part of it. We gave Sintayehu an Ethiopian drum for his birthday that we bought while in country. When Dawit asked to play with it, he said,"yes, but be very careful, this is very special to me." It brought tears to my eyes to hear the excitement and gratitude in his voice. We were also honored to have two of the three grandmas with us on this trip.

The family meal.

MMMMM... Chai "pronounced shy"

My Love

The little drummer boy. They both had a surprising amount of rhythm. (You should see them dance. People will blame us for their lack of skills :) )

Well that takes us up to last weekend. I will finish tomorrow because I am exhausted.

And just because it was so funny to see all three of them in the little blow up pool. Right after the final World Cup Game.

Five Years Old

2010-07-09T17:22:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Dawit's Birthday.

He woke up very excited. After I told him Happy Birthday, at 5:45 when he crawled in bed, he stood up and said, "I'm big!!" He looked down at me with a big ole' smile on his face. This birthday idea is new and he was so excited and anxious he was on the verge of tears all day. We ate his favorite breakfast; waffles and Chai. Then he played on the computer for a while.

I was happy for him but five years old sounds so much bigger than four. Silly I know, but I am sad they are growing up. It was a year ago that we saw their beautiful faces and fell in love with them. His face has changed so much in a year. He looked like a baby in the referral pic and he looks like a elementary school kid now :)

Well later that morning Grandma Kathy surprised us with a short visit and a Curious George Baseball bat. Then we joined Poopa for lunch to celebrate both of their birthdays. The boys were able to play in an arcade for the first time. They choose air hockey a couple of times and it was fun to watch them play each other.

We ran to the store to get some ingredients for an Ethiopian Cuisine and then home again. Uncle Josh came over with a remote control car for the birthday boy. He loved it. He played with it for a good long.

Daddy finally came home and we ate a meal of turkey kulet, vegetable aleecha, sambusas, injera, and lentils. And then we had cake... It was so funny to watch his little face blow out the candles, not once, not twice, but three times. First on accident and then again just for fun. And then we gave him his big Tonka truck. His eyes lit up to the size of saucers. He was so excited.

It is so amazing to think that God hand picked our family. A year ago we were trying to apply for our sons and this year they are out of the orphanage celebrating their life with us, their family. God is so amazing, so great, so wonderful, so perfect. I know it's hard to trust when life seems so uncertain, but our God is faithful. His plan is perfect, His time is perfect, He is perfect. Thank you God for being so big. Thank you for loving and caring for us. Loving us enough to give us this absolute gift of life. I am sorry for the worry and the doubt. Please forgive me for the questioning and self pity. Please help me to remain strong in my faith during the hard times as well as the great. But most of all please let your love and grace shine through me for all to see. Help me to sing your praises every day of the year.

Racing at the arcade

Uncle Josh is caring for baby Marta

New present

Ethiopian cuisine

Feeding each other... Ethiopian Style

Zega Jue?... are we ready?

Making a wish and blowing out the candles

Happy Birthday

This is mine?

The smile says it all

Momma I love it

MIA from the blogworld

2010-07-06T21:19:00.001-07:00

Yes I am apologizing. Not that many people read this... I keep it mostly for myself. But we have been just enjoying our family so much that by the time everyone is in bed, I am beat which means no time for blogging. Our boys are growing leaps and bounds. We are getting ready for the little man's birthday this weekend. He is so excited. The excitement seems to get the best of him some times and melt-downs happen. Oh well.

We have seen some regression in Dawit's behavior; ie: thumb-sucking, needing to be held and cuddled more, being rocked to sleep at night. Our therapist told us this was actually a good sign. She explained that he is letting down his guard and is depending on us, which means attachment is occurring. Yeah!!!

Sintayehu on the other hand is becoming more independent. He is playing with age appropriate toys and games and doesn't want the baby stuff like he did when he first came home. Again Big Yeah!!!! Their English amazes me. They can both speak in complete sentences. Questions get all mixed up but we get the gist of the question. I get a little worried when they talk to others. I totally understand what they are saying but through the accents and the jumbled sentences, some people get very confused. But they are learning.

We are going to the beach tomorrow. It will be our first official day at the beach. We went to San Diego but it was a quick ocean trip. Basically exposed them and took pics and left. So it will be fun to play in the water. It's supposed to be cold so who knows how it will end. Their temperature tolerance is very small.

I have two bike riders now. They both can ride with out training wheels. They were very excited. I think Dawit was just as excited for Sintayehu to ride as he was for himself.

Nick and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary last week. We went to a Grease sing a long at the Hollywood Bowl with some very good friends. It was great to be able to have a second glass of wine and grown up talk with out any interruptions. I didn't realize Nick and I don't have full conversations anymore. They are usually only 1-2 sentences interrupted by questions, whining, or fighting. So we decided the kids are going to bed earlier so we can have some husband/wife time. It was really hard leaving the kids. And they did not seem to like being left behind. They had fun with Grandma, but their feelings were hurt.

We celebrated the fourth of July with lots of swimming and eating. Dawit slept through the fireworks. Sintayehu's amazed face was priceless. Like a bonehead, I didn't take any pictures so that beautiful expression will be burned in my and Nick's memory forever

We are utilizing the free/cheap activities around. We have been to the movies, concerts in the park, played the drums at the library and there is much more to come. It has been so fun spending time with them. I love being a mom. It is the second greatest thing ever. The first is being a wife. I am so abundantly blessed by God's grace and graciousness.

ps. if you are waiting to bring home your kiddo/s, hold on the end is close and it's all a distant memory once they are in your arms. It is the greatest gift God will give you.

Wahoo the little wheels are gone

Yep, all three men in the house got matching tattoos

Level 3 percussion at the library. These were the coolest drums, sound shapes.

Look No Training Wheels!

Excited about his new overalls

Catching ants for the toads

My baby

Perspective

2010-06-24T17:18:00.000-07:00

Since beginning the process of adopting and blogging, I have been obsessed with reading the details, dates, and progress of adoptions all over the world. I have read about God's work for the orphans, seen many types of fundraising, and triumphant unions that seemed hindered by Satan himself. In the end, all of the stories are joyful. In the end God wins. The families are united with their new son or daughter or both. Praise and rejoicing is called for. God has done what seemed impossible.

Today I was a couch potato and through facebook, one thing lead to another and I ended up on a blog much different than my usual suspects, click here if you would like to read about Sarah Jones journey through motherhood. While her journey started seven years ago with her son growing in her own belly, they have had to pray, trust, and fund raise for a different reason. Their son was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and Prune Belly disease. He has spent his life fighting to breathe. If you read their story have tissue nearby. It hits you in the gut and makes you cry. The end of Conner' life is soon. They are fundraising not to start a new life but to commemorate one that is ending. If you would like to donate to Conner's funeral costs please go to their page and donate on the left hand side. They are 84% of the way there and he is in his final moments. These parents are fighters. They are believers. They are dedicated. They are parents preparing to say good by to their 7 year old son. Donate $5, $10, $100 whatever you can to ease there journey.

Today I woke up feeling thankful for our own blessings; after reading their story thankful isn't even close to the word to use.

Summer, Father's Day and 3 months in America

2010-06-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

This last week was pretty busy. We are officially on Summer Break. Yahooooo!!!! That means that I get to spend all my time with the boys. I love it. No more leaving them to go to work. Dawit is starting to realize that I will be here in the mornings. He comes running in, anywhere between 3:30 and 7:00 saying "Mommy no work? Daddy go work?" Even though we are loosing sleep; life couldn't be better. And the improvement in behavior and attitudes has been huge. They still get mad; but who doesn't? Consistency is definitely a big deal in their behavior.

We celebrated 3 months home last week. The boys have officially been in our care longer than in CHI's. But unfortunately not their orphanage. (we have 16 more months before that is true) We are getting ready for Dawit's birthday party. He talks about it often. He picked a curious George theme.

My Little Monkey is turning 5

He even prays for a happy George party. It's very cute when he inserts it in the middle of his Amharic prayer. I love it. He usually gets a goofy grin on his face after he changes the prayer. And then will say, "pray like mommy daddy".

HUGE progress with Sintayehu this week. He officially stopped saying he doesn't like America. Again, just jinxed myself but what a great thing. He even said America was on his top 5 list of great things. Below Praying to God, Learning, and family; but it ranked above eating :) Talk about priorities. He has his figured out better than most adults. He is anxiously waiting to do some traveling this summer. Our vacations have to be short/cheap this year due to the traveling to Ethiopia, but we can do some great California trips.

We made our first Ethiopian meal and I got two thumbs up from the boys. Sintayehu wanted to share his food with the families in our Bible study. So we made Kulet (usually beef but we did turkey stew), miser wat (without much pepper), and Amharic. The Miser wat was "perfect" according to Sintayehu, and the others got a "thanks for trying" but in the end they liked them more than the ones they had at the local Ethiopian Restaurants. Sintayehu wants to start taping our meal attempts and put them on You Tube for other adoptive families. So that is our next adventure :)

Father's day went really well. We celebrated with Nick on Saturday. We went to Big Bear to a deserted mining town. Sintayehu was in 7th heaven. With all of the history and explanations of the years and events, he couldn't stop smiling. And Dawit liked climbing on the rocks. On Sunday, we hung out at my parent's house with my family and Bar-b-qued and swam, according to Sintayehu, it was the best day because it was church and family (there are those priorities again). We took some cute pics for presents for father's day

Old Mine in Holcomb Valley

Climbing on Rocks in Holcomb Valley

Compliment or Insult?

2010-06-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

So our youngest is fascinated with Kaa-Kaa. He goes several times a day, takes a long time and likes to say goodbye to it when he flushes it down the drain.

Yesterday, after going #2 he stood up to study his Kaa-kaa. He informed me that there were three. He then made me look at the kaa-kaa. "See Mom" he begins to say. "See what?" I ask. "It's Mom, Dawit and Baby(doll) and they are holding hands." Well, sure enough they were decreasing in size and all touching.

He wouldn't let me flush it. So, we let it sit for a few hours till some one else needed to use the toilet. He was very sad to see it go.

I don't know what that means... He identifies me with his kaa-kaa. Oh well!!! I guess that could be a compliment. Kaa-kaa is dependable, relieving, and healthy. If that's how he views me, that's great.

90

2010-06-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we celebrated Papa's 90th Birthday. It was a great evening. Our boys were able to meet most of their cousins, aunts and uncles. Many family members flew in from Chicago to be with Papa on his day. Here are some photos from the day.

"The Big Man"

Enjoying the speech

Still in-love

Gammie (You only make it to 90 with the love of a great woman)

A special song from Emily

Uncle Tom and Aunt Buda

Most of the Great-Grandchildren

The Whole Gang

Happy 90th Papa!!!

Love 'em

2010-06-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Parenting

2010-06-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

So apparently, becoming a parent no longer means you can go to the bathroom or shower without at least two interuptions. Which include little fingers sticking under the door with a little voice saying "Mommy I miss you!! Please let me in". So cute, but not so cute for the digestive track.

Beautiful Day

2010-06-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

We had an awesome day today. After having a difficult week; it was great thoroughly enjoy eachother. We spent the day swimming at Grandma and Grandpa's. The boys seem to be in their element when they are in the water. We did tricks, cannonballs, played with water toys and had a delicious barbeque. And now we are on our way to Papa's 90th birthday party. What a beautiful Saturday

Frozen Yogurt

2010-06-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

Why does frozen yogurt make everyone so happy?

3 steps forward... 2 steps back

2010-06-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

I should know this is part of life. But it always surprises me. Our family has had five really great days together. And then we had tonight. It was one for the books. It seems as though happiness can only come in short bursts for our kids. If they were happy all day, they have to be miserable at night. Is this true for all children?

God Bless America

2010-05-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

Friday, my family got to be part of something very special. An event I hope everyone gets the opportunity to witness. An event filled with patriotism, excitement, anticipation, and love. We were at Camp Pendleton, Oceanside, CA when the 4th LAR returned home from fighting in Afghanistan.

Words can not describe the emotions that filled the day. All I know is that I feel very blessed to have witness the reunion of families. There were husbands kissing wives, Mom's kissing sons father's meeting their newborns and our own Uncle Matt meeting his new nephews. I felt so honored to be an American and so thankful for the dedication of our military men and women.

Like I said words don't describe it.

Man's Best Friend

2010-05-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Talk about loyalty...
This is big. Our boy is no longer scared of the dogs. He called Dutch in to keep him company.

Humor

2010-05-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

Sintayehu's English is really coming along. He is starting to understand some dual meaning jokes. We knew he liked comedies. He laughs really hard at the humor in many of the Disney movies but they were usually slapstick kind of humor. But recently, he is laughing at the word jokes too. And then yesterday he told us a few jokes and laughed at some sarcasm. He is learning so fast. It is amazing. Nick and I were cracking up when he realized some of the jokes.

We are having so much fun. We absolutely love being their parents. Don't get me wrong, we have some very hard moments and days; but those just make the fun days that much better. I didn't know how fun this parenting thing would be.

We went to the water park this past weekend. These boys absolutely LOVE the water. Sintayehu loved the wave pool. He spent so much time in the pool that he only went on the other slides one time. He put his goggles on and jumped through the waves. At one point he jumped up yelling, "This is soo Coool" Dawit loved the slides. The faster the better. He is going to be our little dare devil. He was sad he couldn't do the drop out slide because he was to small. He has about 8 inches to go so it will be a long while before he's able to do that one. He liked the pitch black slide, especially once it was over and he realized there would be an end to the darkness. But once the lines got long he was content riding the kiddie slides. The lines were only 3-5 min for those. And by the end of the day, I was content just watching him. Nick was freezing in the wave pool with Sintayehu.

This is what the little man wanted to wear to the water park.

I can't wait for summer to be here. I absolutely hate leaving them. They are with fantastic Grandparents and look forward to seeing them; but it is so hard to not be with them. I am told it gets easier. I hope so. I still cry on the way to work. I think about the memories or events that I am going to miss. I hate it. But I guess that's part of life.

Sintayehu got some new Ethiopian books in the mail yesterday. He was so excited to read them and Dawit liked the packaging...

Nick introduced the boys to racquetball last Friday. They had a blast. Only one minor injury.

Me and my little men. There is a nice trail that outskirts our town. The boys enjoyed the hike.

(notice the helmet, there was no bikes :))

2 months Home

2010-05-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was two months since we arrived in LA. It has gone by so quickly. We are learning in leaps and bounds. I thought teaching had prepared me for motherhood... boy was I wrong. Here is a slide show of our two months home. Enjoy!!!

Love of my life

2010-05-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am a little late in posting this but Friday I fell in love with my husband a little more. I work on Fridays and nick doesn't; he works 4 tens. After a long day at work I came home to a clean house, a fridge filled from a recent trip to Costco, dinner in the crock pot and two happy clean children. Who by the way were playing together nicely. We have endured a lot of crap together; it is so nice to see life is at a nomal speed. I swear I have the best husband in the world.

Swimming

2010-05-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

I officially have a self sufficient swimmer. Sintayehu can swim across the deep end. He still is a little nervous; but tomorrow they are spending the day at Grandma's pool. I am sure I will have a total swimmer by the end of the week. We are going to Knott's Soak City this weekend so there is incentive for him to be able to swim without any floaties.

Joy

2010-05-10T20:26:00.001-07:00

I am not sure I understood the meaning before...

I snuck in on them reading to each other this morning.
and then I made them smile for the camera.
Hangin' at the park...
Fun new toy from Great Aunt Sue. They loved it...
and a good game of Hide N Seek.

2010-05-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

Today was my first Mother's Day. There was a mix of emotions that went with today. While obvious joy and praise is given to God for our children; there is a subtle mourning for Ayme. I am a mother because my boy's mother is no longer living. The morning went really smooth. Got up, the boys brought me coffee and their gifts and we got ready for church. I was asked to speak about God's victory throughout our adoption and our story to parenthood. The boys went to their classrooms where they talked about moms and everything they are thankful for.

After church there was a noticable mood change in our eldest. I had a feeling he was thinking about Ayme, his momma. We got home and readied a picnic in which he was refusing to participate in. I sat with him. He wouldn't let me hold him or look me in the eye. I asked him of he was sad and he didn't respond. I tried to get him to tell me why but he wasn't using words. So I asked if it was because he missed his mother. Scared to make me sad, he didn't respond. So I told him we would pray to Jesus and ask Jesus to tell her thank you and happy mothers day. I am not an eloquent pray-er. But Gods words flowed through us and it was the closest I had felt to my sons. I know she is in heaven watching her sons grow every day. And she is proud of how smart and brave her sons are. So I am honored to share this Mothers Day with her. She raised her sons to be respectful an to love God with their heart, mind, and soul.

Thank you God. We don't know why there is hurt and pain, but thank you for your comfort. We pray that your patience and love shine through us and our sons continue to grow in you. And God, tell their Mother that we will protect them, and love them, feed them, educate them and tell her thank you for everything she had done for them. We love her always and she will always be a part of our family.

Back to Work

2010-05-06T17:21:00.001-07:00

Today I went back to work. There are so many emotions that ran through me today, I am quite exhausted. I left before the boys were awake. I don't know what would have been harder. I watched them sleep for a good 15 minutes before I left. I am fortunate because my mom and dad were here to be with them for the day. My mom will watch them on Thursdays for me. It's awesome and difficult at the same time. Grandma's are supposed to be fun. And our boys hit the grandma lotto. They have three loving fun grandma's. But the dialema is in the transitioning into a life in America.

Last night I laid awake wondering if my returning to work will hindering the bonding and schedule/rules we have worked on for the last eight weeks. It's been difficult setting limits. It's not fun to be the bearer of bad news when it's time to turn off the tv/video games/ computer; but there definitely need to be time limits for kids. I wondered if the boys will feel a stronger connection with my family during this time. I wondered if they would be scared; God forbid. I wondered if they would notice/ care. It sucks. I want them to be with me. I don't want to work I have to work. Insert groan.

I thought about them all day. When I finally saw their faces this afternoon the same joy that hit me at the transition home overwhelmed me all over. I love them so much.

So then I found out about their day. My dad told me that they were very comfortable and didn't seem to worry at all. Is this good? I would be lying if I didn't feel a tinge of pain that they didn't cry while I was gone. But I was happy they weren't scared. So I have questions. Is this helping or hurting attachment? And then the kicker happened. Dawit called Grandma, Mom. He hadn't done this in a while (like 5 weeks). I know it's small, but it was like a punch in the gut. We regressed.

I am so happy they had fun, were comfortable, and were LOVED today, but this is way harder than I thought. It's such a slippery tightrope we walk between bonding and reality of the outside world. I know there are many adoption mama's are out here, what have your experiences been?

Silly Boys

2010-05-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today we went to an air show put on at the local air force base in Moreno Valley, which was awesome by the way. Our very close friend is in charge of it and his hard work definitely shows. Anyways, two funny things occurred due going to the air show.

On the way there were people demonstrating against the recent Arizona immigration laws. Sintayehu noticed that they were all "Mexicans." His words. He asked what was going on and we explained that they did not like a law that was passed recently and this is a peaceful way to get attention. Well, several hours later at home on his bike he shouted, "Free Moreno Valley!! Go Mexico!!" We about lost it.

Our other son, was observing the families around us and decided that he would call us "Mom and Dad" from now on instead of Mommy and Daddy.

Silly Kids! You never know what they are going to say next.

Pictures at the air show

My silly boy wanted to go on vacation so badly he packed himself in the suitcase

Favorite

2010-04-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

I must say that prior to becoming a mom, one of my favorite activities was sitting at Starbucks sipping my latte and people watching. There was something comforting watching people come and go, going to a place where "everybody knows your name" and coffee, and the big comfy leather chair. I liked to watch the stroller mama group come in after their morning walk. The business men in suits order triple lattes and wraps. The couple that looked like they had been married forty years, that knew what it's like to just sit in silence with a good cup of coffee. Silence can be comforting if you are sitting with the one you love.

It was a perfect way to start my day, then I would be off to work with ten year olds. The caffeine was the added pick me up needed to get me through the day.

But now, my favorite cup of coffee is the one I make in my jammies while making breakfast for the boys. Instead of people watching, I talk. I talk to my sons about dreams, geography, games, what's happening today. I love it. The coffee isn't as good but the company makes up for it. Nothing better than sitting in a place where "everybody knows your name."

Last weeks pics.

First Taco... He ate it like a sandwich

Morning in the snow...

Evening at the beach. It's official, they are So Cal kids now.

Night in the spa.

All Day in the pool. They love the water.

Too Freakin Cute

2010-04-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

Okay today it snowed, so we drove up just a bit so they could play in it...

And this was the statement Sintayehu made in the bath yesterday. He did this on his own and had no clue why we were laughing.

Bad day update

2010-04-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

The day got much better. We had a long talk about whining and fairness. I dont know how much was understood. But the day got better. We went to the lake and had lunch. The boys got to feed the ducks and make some yellow snow. So maybe we can't rewind but we can make a concious effort to be better.

Possible Rewind

2010-04-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have a morning you wish you could rewind? Today is one in the Crain Household. The children woke up very early in funky moods. I wish I could redo my responses at breakfast.

They boys need everything to be exactly the same. I thought the amount of milk was the same. We put them next to eachother and they were even to the millimeter. Well, Sintayehu didn't think so. He started whining and yelling at me. This is when I got frustrated, FYI there were already three or four fights prior to breakfast. I then picked up Sintayehu's milk and drank it all and set the empty cup in front and said now you have none. I immediately regretted the very stupid move and told him when he stopped yelling he could fill his own glass.

Man, oh man!!! Where is that rewind button when you really need it.

Best part of parenting

2010-04-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

I have been asked many times what the best parts of becoming a parent has been. I think it is all of the little things.

I love it when the boys come in EARLY in the morning and crawl in bed with me. They snuggle like they won't let go. We talk, pray, and discuss what the day will look like.

I love the little phrases the boys repeat.

Dawit says, "mommy Scummin" translation: mommy come on or mommy is.

"small or Too big": small or big one?

"Swim" : bath.

"Silly Boy" to anyoneone being silly.

"Look at jew" : look at you when he is showing off one of his photos.

Sintayehu says, "Wow Wow Wow" when he learns something new.

"Can have I some Computer puh-lease?"

"Where go today" apparently we go somewhere everyday.

"Dawit very very disturbed" when Dawit is being silly or naughty.

" Oh Mommy No" when he doesn't believe me.

I love that they both turn to see where we are if they are on their bikes.

I love that Sintayehu wants to be hugged at least twice every hour.

I love playing games with them. at the moment, They are addicted to Monopoly Junior.

I love that Dawit won't take his helmet off.

I love the pride and respect Sintayehu has for his country. (Most 10 year olds don't)

I love watching them in the water whether it be sprinklers, pool or bath.

I love that Sintayehu hugs everyone he is introduced to and Dawit gets shy and burries his head in my shoulder.

I love watching Nick bond manly kind of bonding with the boys.

I love that the boys notice how Nick treats me well.

I love that they like to clean their room if we help.

I love that even after a time out or melt down they want to cuddle and follow the "ikerta" (sorry) with a kiss and a long hug.

I love watching them play nicely together when they don't know we are watching.

I love that they break out in dance or song at random times.

I love it!!! We have awesome kids. God has blessed us thousand fold. I don't know why it was so hard to trust that our family would be complete. Through every trial, there were A LOT, even in ET, God was true to his promise.

I recently spoke at church about God's plan and God being victorious. Nick and my plan was simple. God's was much grander. I truly think it took many of the trials to ready us to parent these boys. If the boys were ready when we first thought about starting a family, we would not have been ready for them. It truly was God's perfect timing. Thank you God.

Here are some recent photos:

First Slurpees Coke and Banana MMMMM...

Play date with an old friend from Ethiopia. They were re-united on Monday and ask about him every day. We will be getting together again soon. We all went for a walk, well almost all of us. Sintayehu wanted to be pulled in the wagon.

Meeting their Great Grandparents. We had a great time visiting and the trip was complete with swimming and all.

Grandma made them each an apron for helping in the kitchen. No more towels :)

I love this kid so much. He is one of God's children, no doubt.

And this one takes my breath away several times a day.

Honor

2010-04-11T21:38:00.001-07:00

I would like to say this is a proud momma moment; but realistically I was just honored to learn the way of my oldest son. He has ten years of life experience that has nothing to do with the Crains. This boy know Jesus. If he could give his testimony in church; there would be no way that a non-believer would not start believing. I am humbled and honored to be his mother.

Here is a glimpse into his heart.

Mommy: "Why do you want to be a journalist?"

Sintayehu: "I want to help Ethiopia."

Mommy: "I believe you can do that. Do you have any ideas of how this could happen?"

Sintayehu: "If I write about the HIV infection; and tell people how to not get it, I could save lives"

Mommy: "Wow. You are right."

Sintayehu: "And if more people live, there won't be as many orphanages in Ethiopia."

Mommy (with tears in eyes): "Did you know any one with HIV?"

Sintayehu: "Yes. two kids from the orphanage. And many many of their parents died"

Mommy: "I think Jesus would be proud of you and want you to follow your dreams."

Sintayehu: "Jesus would heal them first then take the children with him"

Mommy: "Maybe, or he sent you to help them. It sounds like you have a mission from God."

Sintayehu: "That's why my mommy died and I came to America"

Mommy "What?"

Sintayehu: "So I can be a journalist and go back."

Mommy: "Jesus uses bad times to make better ones"

He is a gift from God. And it is a privilege to be his new mommy.

A week of firsts

2010-04-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

Well, Nick went back to work on Monday. The boys handled it a little too well. We went out to visit him for lunch. The boys were able to see Nick's office and try out the haz mat gear.

Sintayehu with the mask on.

Tuesday was a relaxing day. We stayed in our pajamas for a while and then went to the park to ride bikes and scooters. Dawit love riding around. Sintayehu on the other hand said too much exercise after about 10 minutes of riding his scooter on the basketball court. I feel bad for him. I think, since he is almost 11 years old and trying all of the physical stuff for the first time, it is much harder for him. His brother seems to be going in circles around him and then he gives up. Poor Guy.

Then on Wednesday, we met Grandma Kathy in Menifee to paint ceramics. The boys whined the whole way, saying they didn't want to paint. I can't figure this out. They have never done something and have many preconceived notions about the fun level. And they complain the whole time. Well once we got there, they were excited and had a very fun time painting their banks.

It was warm on Wednesday so the boys ran around in the sprinklers. After a few minutes, they wanted to use their new snorkeling gear. So they ran around the yard with a snorkel and mask looking so goofy. I loved it.

And Thursday they went swimming for the first time ever. Grandma's pool is all of 60 degrees. IT was COLD!!! I got in like a good mom and froze my booty off. They had so much fun.

Friday, we took them fishing for the first time. They were very distracted and there was nothing biting. But they looked pretty cute. And there was a giant playground and bike trail; so they had a blast.

And today, we took them to the movie theater. We went to the $2.00 theater. Our whole family cost a whopping $8.00 to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: the sqeakwall. It was really funny to watch their reactions to the movie. Dawit loved the music. He was bouncing his head and feet to the beat; which relieved me because I was worried about their rhythm :) And Sintayehu laughed so hard throughout the whole thing. Quite a week we had.

Looking forward to a play date with a friend of Sintayehu. As God would plan it, there is another boy from the HOH that lives near us. He has been asking since we told him and showed him their family's blog. So, we are going to their house tomorrow. And the boys are very excited.

Joys of being a Mommy!!!

2010-04-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

Sintayehu was looking through the calendar asking about Holidays. We told him about Mother's Day, Father's Day, Independence, Cinco De Mayo, etc. Then I told him that Mondays are Mommy's foot massage day and every Monday, they have to rub my feet. This was going well until they discovered how ticklish my feet are. Look at those smiles.

Ahhh

I trapped the tickling culprit.

Daddy showing them how to do it right.

And by special request... Dawit and his helmet

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T20:33:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter!!!

What a joyous day. We got to celebrate our triumphant King with our complete family. How great is it that our God is true to his word? And that our Savior conquered death? What else can we fear? I was able to speak of God's plan and promises through our trials at church today. It was awesome to tell our story. Lord knows it was not our plan or our way but His way and how much greater it is than our own. Thank you Jesus.

The boys are adjusting so fast. We did the Easter Egg hunt this morning. It was the first morning that they were sleeping past six and we had to wake them at 6:45 in order to do baskets and get ready for church. It was really fun to watch them find eggs. The Easter Bunny brought the boys fishing poles, a tackle box, a movie and candy. Plus, all of the grandparents handed out major loot. I don't think they know what to do with it all. We had a lovely day and the boys are in the bath right now.

Funny phrases....

1. I told Sintayehu that his stomach hurt because he ate too much. He replied, "Not two much Mommy, only one much."

2. We have been working on saying No Thank You. Today Dawit said "No Thank You" when Grandma handed him his coat. Grandma tried to explain just Thank You. After three rounds of incorrectly saying it, he finally replied "Your Welcome"

3. Sintayehu said, "I see the Easter Bunny at Tenya (Sleep)" That's right the child who is scared of the Easter Bunny is seeing her in his sleep.

Here are some pictures of Egg dying and Easter.

Most of the eggs looked kinda brown by the end.

Daddy Helping Out

We had a hard time not eating the eggs

Twister Anyone?

Happy Easter - Urkle Style

Grandpa and Dawit fishing in the pool.

Family Photo Time. It only took 100 different pics to get one good one

Check out all that loot!!

Boys will be boys!!!

2010-04-02T16:34:00.001-07:00

Thank God I had a brother growing up. I think if it was just my sister and myself I think I would have been ill prepared for parenting two school age boys. There have been non-stop nerf wars for the last three days.

We had to take the boys back to the doctors for additional vaccinations and drawing blood on Thursday. This was not something I was looking forward to. We told them we were going back and there was a look of panic on Dawit's face. We explained that it would only be one more shot in the leg and one in the arm. We also bribed them. We told them if they were good they could each pick out one 10.00 toy at Target when we were done; we were taking them clothes shopping anyways. Oh My Goodness!!! They did so well for the shots. I don't know if it was the bribe or the knowing ahead of time what would be happening but there were no tears from Sintayehu and small whimpering from Dawit.

Well after lunch we went to Target where I was expecting complete meltdowns because the limit was low. Again, totally surprised. I was even able to go off and do some Easter Basket shopping. After much consideration they both decided to get nerf shot guns. (Sintayehu really wanted a car that made sounds but decided that eventually the batteries would die so he went with the nerf gun. How's that for logical thinking?) Daddy got a nerf gun as well. The moment they got home they have been shooting each other. Nick came into our bedroom saying "I love having Boys!!!" It was so cute.

Today we took them to the park again. We go like every other day. Dawit is riding his bike so well. He is quite the Dare Devil. He decided to go down the hills instead of the paths. It made me nervous but I got over it. He then proceeded to fall of the slide. Luckily the kid doesn't take off his helmet so that saved his noggin. Last night I realized I haven't taken any photos of them lately so after their bath I got some good ones.

Lovin' My Husband and Hide N Seek

2010-03-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

So we took our boys to get their immunizations last week. That is a rare form of Hell. Dawit did not like it at all, I had to lay over him while they poked him with every vaccination for birth to 4 years and by the time I finally got him to calm down, we had to go have blood drawn. Well anyways, we also received directions for collecting a stool and urine sample.

Fast forward to this morning. We have to return to the doctors to have their TB tests read. We also had to collect their samples. These boys take MAN sized Caca's. I couldn't bring myself to collect their crap in the paper bowl. So my wonderful husband did it for me. Plus he had to scoop it into a collection jar. I could hear him gagging from the other side of the house. And as if it wasn't bad enough, he dropped it on the counter. Poor guy. But my love for him gew a little more today.

The boys discovered the intercom button on the phones today. They are running around the house talking to each other on the phone. Sintayehu will run and hide and Dawit runs around looking for him. He is a horrible seeker but it the first time they have really played together since we have all been together. It's awesome. They are laughing and having genuine fun together. I feel like I am in heaven.

We tried to explain the Easter Bunny to the boys and may have created a life long fear of Rabbits. They did not like the idea of a man sized rabbit sneaking into the house. We tried to explain that it is pretend, but it wasn't passing the language barrier. If you plan on showing pictures of the Easter bunny to your kids; beware of the google images. There is a Killer Bunny for one of the first pictures. Not a great first impression.

Sintayehu has taken to Nick really well. I love watching them talk. He explains things to Nick about Ethiopia and his previous life. Our family was totally planned by God. It was meant to be.

Ps. Church went really well yesterday. They boys liked it. Next week they will go to Sunday School for the Easter games. I will go with them and hang out in the back.

Church Today

2010-03-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Trying out church today!!! I am very excited a nervous. Our oldest can't wait. We got him anamharic Bible and he said it was the best gift. I almost cried. So I'll let you know how it goes. I think we are going to try to keep them in the service with us.

Update to Crain: Family of Four

2010-03-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

We have been home for a little over a week now and we are finally getting into a groove. However, now that I have said this, the next couple of days will probably be hell J. The boys have met all of their grandparents and love spending time with them. This time has finally come to reality. I love seeing everyone play with them They have taken a particular liking to Uncle Josh and Auntie Brookie. They call Uncle Josh Uncle Fas (fart). They think it is really funny to pass gas on his head when they are riding on his shoulders.

They love riding their bikes. We go to the park almost every day to let them ride. Unfortunately, our street is busy and there are no sidewalks. It’s ok though, it has been great park weather. We got training wheels for Sintayehu’s bike so now he’s starting to keep up with his brother. He was getting really frustrated when his four year old brother would ride circles around him. Dawit loves his helmet. He wears it almost all day long. He lost his hat in Ethiopia when he stuck his head out the window to throw up and I really need to replace it. It’s really cute though.

We have had a lot of firsts. They get a kick out of the automatic everything. The first store they went into was PETCO and Dawit stared at the doors for almost a minute. When we left, Sintayehu said, “open please” and then “thank you” as he went through. I about died laughing. They were each allowed to pick out a fish to go with the one remaining fish at home. Sintayehu named the original fish Joy. He picked out a rainbow shark and named him PasFick, after the Pacific Ocean. Dawit picked out a white fish, a silver Molly and named it Alem; which is a made up word apparently.

We took the boys to Forest Falls the other day. It is a waterfall that you can easily hike to. Now it has been 75 degrees since we have been home and I know that there is still snow in the mountains, but it didn’t even occur to me that there would still be lots of snow up there. I dressed the boys in board shorts, water shoes and a t-shirt. I brought sweats and socks and change of underwear and shirt. We got up there and there was at least two feet of snow. They were so excited they jumped out of the car and started running around and throwing snowballs at Uncle Josh. I must say they were troopers. There was another family all bundled up for the snow and we looked like we were going to the river. After 45 min we finally made our way toward the waterfall where there was no snow (south Side). They boys climbed the trail and we had a snack at the top of the falls, well middle actually. The water was flowing to hard to cross and go to the top.

After we played we took the boys to get new shoes. They each picked out a new pair of shoes without any problems. Dawit grabbed a pair of light up toy story tennis shoes and Sintayehu got a pair blue Velcro tennis shoes. Then we went to Oak Glen for lunch and the petting zoo. They boys did great for the most part. Dawit was scared of the animals at first but warmed up to them eventually. We finished with an overwhelming trip to a candy shoppe where our great day ended, way too many choices for them. Oh well!! It was a great day save that.

Poopa (grandpa) Gave the boys razors and they love them. It is much easier for them to ride on the patio then their bikes. We have some great pics of them riding around. They LOVE them

They have learned my favorite song, Hands by the almost and sing it all day. Everytime we get in the car we have to listen to it. I think riding in the car is my favorite time of the day. Every one is happy. Sintayehu asks lots of questions and tries to figure things out. Dawit listens to every one speaking English. We feel like a real family when we are in a car. (In comparison to us feeling like we are in survival mode most of the time).

Their English is coming along well. Dawit says, “you done” when he is done with anything. I ask, “You Done?” So he thinks that is the right response. I crack up all the time. Sintayehu says Oooh in a sing song way that is so funny and when Dawit really likes something he says Yeah sing songy too.

This is the hardest thing we have ever done but God is blessing our family in so many ways. We feel so privileged to be parents to these boys. We love them so much!!!

one of Sintayehu's portraits

Busy Busy Busy

2010-03-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

We have been home for four days now. And we are on the go all of the time. The boys are doing GREAT. Each day gets a little better. The first few days we had melt downs about every 30 minutes. We were all very frustrated. Nick and I are learning to choose our battles wisely. The boys are so smart. I am amazed at how quickly they are picking up English.

Sintayehu learned English in school. He can read it and write it as well. We are ordering books in Amharic, hoping that he might retain some of it. He will try any food, and let you know if he doesn't like it with a very distinct icky face.

Dawit is a little mime around the house. He repeats everything. All he wants to eat is bread. So we tell him to try one little bite and if he doesn't like it he can eat some bread with peanut butter and bananas (moos and dabo). They love taking baths. It is so funny to watch.

It is so nice to be home. Our trip was not as expected and we decided not to post about it. Too many problems and we are home with our boys and that's all that matters.

And now for some pictures. I am hoping to put a montage together if I ever get a few minutes again :)

They boys met us at the van.

Our first family photo.

WE ARE HOME!!!

2010-03-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

We landed yesterday. Had a great trip even with the denial at the Embassy, story to be told later. The boys are sound asleep in their beds, yes we got a baby monitor. We went bike riding and to the doctors today!!! A little too much action but they are asleep now. They also had their first bath ever!!! I know the S is 10 but we video'd it anyway. It was hilarious. Any how, we are exhausted. I knew parenting was the hardest job in the world but man, we are tired. I will post some pics soon

Sitting at the airport

2010-03-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

Nick and I are on the way. We, well actually I, am sitting at a bar right outside our gate while nick is hunting down a sweatshirt. He left it in the car which is now on it's way home. So I sat down with a great lemon drop martini watching a socccer game with many other travelers. I can't even begin to describe my emotions but joy is probably the most dominant one. This time tomorrow we will be boarding the connecting plane to Ethiopia from Dubai. Can't wait. We are planning on getting a good dinner in Dubai, Whig should be interesting since it will be morning PST. So we will see how it goes.

Much love to everyone. See ya when we get back .

Tomorrow's the big day!!!

2010-03-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

We finally get to start our adventure. I must say packing for the boys was much harder than I thought it would be. I am starting parenthood of two school age kids in a developing country. I better figure it out quick. Well thank you for all of your prayers, warm wishes and delightful comments. They helped us through some really rough times. I will update when we can. Have a blessed two weeks. Off to motherhood!!!!

Can we say CRAZY?

2010-03-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

So today we received official word that we can travel on Friday. Yeah!!!! So I am running around finishing up last minute errands. Things are going pretty smoothly, except for a piece of paper from my district. There was a miscommunication about what days I need a sub and now I am a little nervous because the sub I had planned on already has those days filled. Uh oh. My partner teacher is flexible, will the district be? We will find out tomorrow. Otherwise I don't know who will be in my class. And I feel horrible saying this, but I really don't care. As long as the have a competent person in there, that's all that matters.

We are going to our last bible study for a while. Life is movin' quick. Lots to do. Good night all.

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

2010-03-03T09:18:00.001-08:00

The boys came back negative. We will be on a plane in 55 hours . 2 days!!! Lots to do. Trying to book our flight.

Details later

3??????

2010-03-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we should find out the results of their TB test. For the first time ever... think negative. We need a negative result. And then we will be on a plane on Friday.

Maybe 4 !?!

2010-03-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

I know that nothing in this process has gone the way it was described to us in all of the workbooks. Nothing was smooth, nothing was easy. We hit all of the bumps. Please, oh please let us be on a plane in four days. I think I am gonna be sick.

5 more days

2010-02-28T21:09:00.000-08:00

Could it be true? Tune in to find out.

The Gift

2010-02-25T16:59:00.000-08:00

I am not an artist, I am not a writer. I am just a mom going through a different avenue than the biological means to get there and along the way started blogging to deal with the roller coaster ride we are on. But along the way, I have been given many gifts, so I am going to attempt to divulge these overwhelming feelings that I am experiencing.

There is the obvious gifts of our sons. This is by far one of the most amazing gifts. Our boys will bless us ten times over what we could ever do for them. I hear often that they are so lucky, so fortunate, to have us as parents, for the opportunities they will have, and to come to America. While so many think that might be lucky, I disagree. It was through unfortunate circumstances that we get to become parents. I really wish there was no need for adoption. I truly wish our boys were in a happy, loving, sustainable home with their biological parents. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.

As much as I want to be a mom, my heart is breaking for them. They have been through so much and their world is about to turn upside down. I only pray that God has prepared Nick, S, D, and I for each other. I am not naive. I know that we will have melt downs, tantrums, grief, loss. I just pray that we are equipped to deal with their past. These boys have lost one set of parents. I pray they know that they won't loose us. We are here to stay through the good and the bad. They are a gift.

Through this process, I have learned God's love much more thoroughly. I see how much God's heart breaks for children. My goodness. They are helpless much of the time. They are often looked at as belongings, an inconvenience, or nuisance. I recently finished a great book. It is written by the CEO of Compassion International. It is Too Small to Ignore. He writes about how all of the worst crimes or actions are saved for children. Rape.. rape of a child. Abuse... Child abuse. Trafficking... Child trafficking. See what he means. These children do not often have a voice. My heart breaks. This is a wonderful gift. I want to be miserable for them.

Becoming a parent to a child you have not met, birthed, touched... is truly teaching me the meaning of unconditional love, that agape love that God so perfectly displays. When Nick and I started dating, there was of course the sparks, fireworks etc. Then we got married. The sparks seemed to intensify as we learned about each other even deeper. After almost six years of marriage the sparks are definitely there. I thought our love was unconditional. But realistically it isn't. We work to stay in love. And there are conditions. We promised to love, respect, trust, and be honest to each other. I know that Nick would never cheat on me. But if he did I don't think I could say "I love you unconditionally". It's amazing if you can. I just don't know if I could ever get past that. There are definitely conditions. Follow them and of course I will love you always.

However... I don't think there is one thing that would ever betray my love for these boys. I know there will be times where I might think that we were crazy for starting this journey, times of disappointment, shock, sadness. But I know I would never turn my back on them. I also know that being a parent means making difficult choices, that might hurt, but in the end will benefit them. I will always love them. More than I do today. That is a gift.

This process has really given me some insight to God's love. And I am sure that our human hearts, brains, souls can truly only love a minute fraction of what God is capable. And if God's love for me is similar to the love I feel for S and D multiplied an infinitesimal amount, I feel peace. No parent is going to knowingly let their child perish without doing everything possible to redirect them. So this journey may have been God's way of making difficult, painful, uncomfortable decisions for us to make us understand his love. And that is the Greatest gift of all.

Travel Conference

2010-02-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

We are getting closer... I can feel it. It's only nine days away... or maybe 14... or maybe 32... So maybe its getting farther. Who knows anymore. It's kinda a cruel joke. Time is not of the essence. I can tell you that.

We had our travel conference with our agency today. We were given all of the travel details. Went through our immigration paperwork. Talked about cultural sensitivity. And then discussed parenting children in our circumstances. It is starting to feel surreal. I am so anxious.

We found out today that all of the documents are ready, we are just waiting for the negative TB tests. Hopefully they will be administering them today and can check negative results on Friday. What I am not sure of is, because of the time difference it is Thursday in Ethiopia now. Do they check results of TB on Saturday? I hope so. Because if they don't; that would mean that they won't do the test till Monday, find the results on Wednesday. We leave Friday!!! Crazy. Nothing like living by the seat of your pants. Crazy!

So we continue to wait. The good news is that an extra embassy date was added. And it is the 15th so that would only delay our travels by a few days and I am thinking about just extending the travels. Still leaving at the same time. Since our room is booked and everything. We might be able to add two extra nights. I still have to talk to nick about this. So we will see.

I am trying to make Pediatrician appointments for our boys upon our return but am being given the run around. I can't make appointments with out a medical record number, I can't get medical record numbers until we get documents, can't get documents till we travel. See my dilemma, apparently I will be making appointments as soon as we return.

So we continue to wait and pray. I know that this adoption has brought Nick and myself so much closer to God. What a great God.

My Heart Might Explode

2010-02-22T21:06:00.000-08:00

Today we received new pictures. I think I am going to just leave tomorrow. At least I want to. I wonder if they would mind. It's only ten days early. That's less expenses on their part. We will pay for every thing once we are there. We will stay as long as we need. What do you think? Ya, I know, with our luck they won't let us in and we would be sitting outside of the HOH trying to sneak a glimpse. Oh man! How my heart aches. It is only 10 1/2 days till we leave, if all goes well. That is a test of faith. I am prepared to be told that we won't be able to travel till April, but... they may have a mom who has been comitted to the looney bin if that's the case.

My poor long term sub. She has been ready to go since freakin' Novemeber. November! Oh well, at least she is a good sport. And she is great with kids. I am so ready. Every fiber of my body is crawling. I love it and hate it all in the same breath. We are learning, growing, loving a little more each day.

Thank you God. Thank you for the gift you have given us. I can not wait to love on them in person. Please keep them safe and brave, Lord. Let their hearts be prepared for us and ours for them. Give us the strength and patience needed to learn about each other. Send us support and strength when needed. Equip us with the tools needed to provide for our sons. Lord, we praise and worship you. Thank you for being the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Thank you for keeping your promises Lord. Amen

And a little treat for the road,

Precious!!! Look, It's our first official Family photo. We all know who each other is... Now on to the real introductions.

Count Down Super Speed

2010-02-20T04:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, our case worker called and explained that our Embassy appointment was moved up a week (eight days actually). Hooorayyy!!!! This means we will be leaving on the 5th of March. Less than two weeks away. I am so excited and soo nervous. This gives our agency one less week to get the paperwork in order. I am not usually skeptical, but if I have learned anything through this process it's to not get to excited until it is official. So we wait with baited breath. Are we leaving in two weeks or five? Oh please don't be five. I am so ready to have them home.

Moving our travel to the week ahead worked out for us. The Guest house we are staying at was booked so the upgraded us to a suite for free. We now have our own kitchen and living area while we are in country. Plus the airfare is thirteen dollars cheaper per person. And we get to stay one extra day. So we really hope this is our travel day.

Today was another work day around the Crain household. Here is the list of accomplishments:
- Finish closet to home office conversion
- Deep clean master bedroom (under the bed and everything)
- Fill prescription for travel meds
- File taxes
- Take care of ticket (we don't even own the car anymore)
- Wash all of the kids clothing
- Make a list of things to buy for the trip
- Miscellaneous shopping
- Print and hang some of the boys pictures.

There is much more to do but it feels good to be moving forward. Please continue to pray for efficiency and hopefully we will be in Ethiopia in two weeks.

could it be 24 more days?

2010-02-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

We hope so... I am off work this week. But for the first time ever in my life, I wish I was working. I think the time would go faster and I wouldn't be so consumed with time. I check my email, blog, twitter constantly trying to keep busy. I swear I love the iphone, but I am so connected all the time it is probably unhealthy.

I am anxiously waiting for the Hubbards to return from Ethiopia next week. They took a photo album of Nick and I to each of the boys. I so hope that they were able to video them while they are looking at the pictures and someone is reading and translating the letter. Well time will tell

A day of celebration

2010-02-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my brother in law was able to come home, from Afganinstan, for ten days. While I was excited to see him; watching Brooke (my sister) and Matt interact was where I found excitement. There was such a joy between them. I cannot fathom being separated from Nick for so many months. They are both so strong, so inspiring, and positive. Matt knows his duties and Brooke doesn't complain about it. It's amazing to me.

The love and affection they were showing yesterday is definitely something to celebrate.

Going Crazy

2010-02-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

Possible 26 day count down!!!!

It is crazy not knowing.

This is what I look like this morning.

Counting down and finishing lists

2010-02-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

This month will hopefully go quickly. I am a giant ball of nerves and unfortunately, Nick is taking the brunt of it. I just wish the travel date was finalized. I am so sick of waiting for an unknown. It is starting to become nauseating. You would think after almost four years of waiting this would be no biggie. But it's not. So we are focusing on getting things done around the house.

Today we got a lot done in the Crain Household. We hung some artwork that we purchased a year and a half ago. It was a big piece and it has been sitting in the boys room till today. It finally has a place in the living room. We hung the pictures in the boys room. They look great. I cleaned out the planters in the front. Most of my plants froze in the crazy weather we had so I cleared them out. We are leaving them empty. We are thinking this could be a family activity. Let the boys help pick out and plant the flowers and plants in their new home.

Nick changed the door knobs on all of the doors in the house. We have been slowly doing this for the last two years. (Are you noticing a trend with procrastination of house work?) We did some major spring cleaning. Cleared out all of the junk we don't use. We have too much junk. Way too much. How do two people collect so much stuff?

We also booked our room at the Guest House in Ethiopia. YEAH!!!!! Luckily the deposit is transferrable if the dates change. I contacted some travel agents about air fare. I can't find a place to book one way tickets for children where they are inexpensive. The quotes came back around the same price as I could find on Cheap tickets.com sooo that was good news. I am just waiting for the ok.

I haven't started packing yet. I am nervous to start counting our chickens before they hatch, if you have followed our journey you know why. But we did clean up the luggage and ask if we could borrow some heavy duty suitcases from my Uncle. My parents will be on a cruise the same time we could be in Ethiopia. How exciting. Our family will be all over that week.

Tomorrow we hope to get more done on our to do list. It feels so good to have things done. I don't know why I procrastinate so much. The feeling of accomplishment is a good one. Well, have a great weekend all. I will leave you with the newest picture from a traveling family.

You gotta love their smiles.

We were given a gift today....

2010-02-09T20:12:00.000-08:00

Today we received new pictures of our boys from a traveling Mamma. They change so much each time. It's amazing. She also took foot prints of the boys so we can buy them shoes. I know it seems small, but every time we walk by the shoe department I look. And I have no idea where they size up regarding shoe size; so here was our first glimpse at our boys feet...

This translates to a 3.5

and this translates to about a 12.

Plus she had some wonderful things to say about them, "I didn't realize these were your boys. They caught my eye on the waiting child list and I was praying for them to find a family. They are absolutely beautiful. Dawit is as sweet as he can be. He kept sharing all his goodies with anyone he could. My son and Sintayehu played basketball and were big buddies. You are so lucky. They are absolutely precious, I am so happy they are going to be yours!!!!"

Hear that? We are so lucky. She captured it. We are the lucky ones in this miracle. Nick and I are the ones being blessed. Thank you Lord for these boys.

And for the finale, I leave you with new images of the Crain Kiddos.

Don't you just want to hold him?

He looks so much older already

Our Handsome Boys

I think Sintayehu is going to hate this picture when he is older

This kid has the best smile in the world.

I love them so much it hurts.

Well Good Night All. Please remember to Praise God for this miracle.

It's Official

2010-02-08T16:18:00.000-08:00

We passed today!!!! On February 8th, these two beautiful boys became Crains. Introducing Sintayehu (Sin-ty-you) Isaiah Crain and Dawit Micah Crain. S is the older son and D is the little, shy one. Behold....

They leave me breathless. We are in love!!!

Not Great News

2010-02-04T11:11:00.001-08:00

I swear, this journey is the hardest journey we have ever been on. So we did not pass court today. We were approved by MOWA, which is great. We had all of the paper work in order. Which is awesome. However, the judge wanted an additional piece of paperwork from the father. The paper was already done once, but she wanted a newer version on Addis letterhead. So, our agency went and got it signed already so we are rescheduled for Monday. Hopefully we will pass this time. If we don't, I guess we will keep fighting.

The good news is that if we pass on Monday, our embassy date is still March 18 so there shouldn't be a delay in when we can go get them. Just a delay in anxiety. So please continue to pray. Our pastor called and cheered me up. He reminded me that it took the Pharaoh 10 plagues before he let His people go. Not 5 not 7 but 10. We are close to 10 delays I think. Thanks for all of the supportive comments and emails. It has really helped me get through. Monday its only four days away. We can hold on till then. We have no choice :)

GroundHogs day repeat

2010-02-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

So after being completely nervous all day yesterday, tossing and turning all night and waking up in the bathroom we finally got the call from Ashley. And the news was that our case was not heard and we will get our chance tomorrow. So within the next 6 hours, a judge will decide if our boys are legally ours. Here's to another sleepless night.

Please continue praying. Congrats to Shannon who passed last night and has the most beautiful daughter.

Hold on boys, we are coming sooner or later.

18 more hours

2010-02-02T16:20:00.000-08:00

So I have been praying all day. Long prayers, short prayers, interspersed throughout the day with all my 5th graders. I have such a knot in my stomach. I know not to expect to pass, but it's our turn. We have hit so many dang bumps I think we actually flipped upside down. So I am trying to stay calm. Every time I feel nervous, I just look to the maker. If He can create all life in seven days, this should be cake.

So tomorrow I may be legally a Mom maybe not. The thing I know for sure is I am a Mom through my heart. Check back tomorrow to find out.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I come before You knowing that I am insignificant and unworthy, Yet You tell us You know the hairs of our head. You created us in our mother's womb. There is promise upon promise that You have made Lord. And you have always kept Your word. Please God hear our prayers. Make us a family tonight. And if it is not your will for it to happen tonight; give us peace and serenity. I thank you Lord for being the Great One, our Maker, the Creator of all things. I pray that Your will be done.

Amen

Anticipation

2010-01-30T15:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we have 4 days until court and I feel like I am going to explode. This is crazy. I don't care for it at all. To make matters worse, Nick is leaving tomorrow for the week. He has been out of town for all of the transitions of this adoption. When we were approved for the addendum and received our first pictures of our sons, Nick was in San Luis Obispo. When we found out the adoption was on hold, he was in a very important meeting. Now while we are waiting to find out if S and D are ours, he will be in San Francisco. What a ride.

I have bitten my nails to stubs, paced the hallway, toss and turn all night, cleaned the house, made to do lists. None of them actually keep my mind from racing. I am very nervous about the whole thing. A family, who has been through the same number of upsets, didn't pass for the second time this week. My heart aches for them. I cried when I read her blog. I cried for there precious little girl. I cried for the empty nursery they have to walk by. I cried for the additional weeks that they will miss in her life. Then I cried for us. I cried for fear. Fear of not passing for a ridiculous piece of paper that isn't signed. I pray for certainty that we pass first time through. I pray. I pray. I pray and that is the only time I feel safe from the uncertainty.

New Pictures!!!

2010-01-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up to find I had 3 new pictures of the boys. My goodness. I fall in love more every time I see them. They are absolutely beautiful. The extra treat was the video. It is only nine seconds but I have watched it at least 50 times already. Big S is saying "chow" and waving the whole time. We have been told by three families that Big S is absolutely adorable outgoing and has a great smile. The families also told us that Little D is really shy. It is apparent in all of the pictures. He doesn't look directly at the camera in any of the pictures.

I can't wait until I can reveal our beautiful boys. Hopefully Next Wednesday you will be able to see the boys that have captured our hearts. Please continue to pray for smooth sailing. We need to pass court, have the TB tests completed and a confirmed March 18th embassy appointment. We are ready for them to be here, in their rooms.

I can't wait for the sound of laughter. IT is the BEST sound in the whole world.

Ps. Thank you Julie

Only in California

2010-01-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

Only in California can you go to the beach on Tuesday...

My dad and Grandpa enjoying the surf and sunset

And Play in the snow on Friday!!!

Look at all that beautiful snow...

I know California has it's share of problems (and taxes)

but I don't think I could live anywhere else.

Same old... till it isn't

2010-01-26T15:34:00.000-08:00

So I had planned on Blogging about my hair cut (Which I love by the way) and about the beautiful weather we had this weekend (4-6 in of snow which is rare for us). Buuuuuutttt today Ashley (our case worker) called us with our court date. And it's next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited. I know that we still have to pass before I can start making plans, but next week. It is the first break we have seem to catch. I just emailed Ashley yesterday asking if there was any news. She had said no news and that there are some families that received referrals in December that were still waiting for a date so it could still be a while. After I had myself a good cry and then a very long prayer, I picked up my class from recess and went about my day.

But this morning, while I was working on report cards, (those kids probably received elevated grades :) Ashley called and told me that we received a court date and it is for February the third. Next Wednesday. She was teared up on the other end. This has been a long journey. I cried. Called Nick. Cried some more. My coworker walked in. Told him. Cried some more. Then called my parents. Cried more. Realized they will be on a cruise while we are in Ethioipia. Oh Well.

My class thinks I am nuts I am sure, but they got to waste like 35 min while they asked me questions about Ethiopia, when we would leave, who their sub would be. They were really excited. Maybe they were excited to have a sub who knows. But there was lots of cheering and smiling going on in G-10 this morning.

So now that all this said, PLEASE continue to pray. We need a smooth court hearing. I don't know if I could handle not passing. I am fragile these days. Well, I know I would survive, God will get us through. But it would be such a huge blessing to pass the first time. Which most families do. We have just had more difficulty than most. Oh yeah, We could maybe travel as soon as March 13th for a March 18th Visa appointment. That's like in 6 weeks. Hallelujah!!! So Please continue to pray. I don't trust any of this to fate or luck. I trust it all to Him.

Control

2010-01-19T20:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am cutting and changing the color of my hair. I probably wouldn't be cutting my hair off if I felt like I had control of much of my life, but I don't. I can however, control the cut and color of my hair.

I have been trying to grow it out for a year and a half but it's getting to a ratty stage, so tomorrow, I will come home with a new style and color. I am staying rational and making sure its long enough that I can still throw it up. This is important because its curly and I wont have time to blow dry it all of the time, (hopefully in the near future). I'll post a pic of the new do tomorrow.

Worry

2010-01-17T19:14:00.000-08:00

Today I was told by three different people not to worry about our adoption. Know that it is all in God's Hands and not to be anxious about it. This is highly offensive. I know it is in God's hands. I know God controls all things. But bad things still happen. As any parent worries about their children; so do I. I know I have not met my children yet, but if anyone else's children were in a third world country with no idea of how they are, where they are, what they are doing etc. they would WORRY too!

I have been made to feel like a bad believer because I am worried for my children. Am I wrong to worry about the safety, health, well being of my children because I haven't met them yet? I am sorry but I don't think I have any less faith because I worry about them. What I don't worry about, is how we are going to handle any issues that come our way because of their time in orphanages, attachment issues, psychological health. I know that God will lead the way and show us the path to the right therapists, doctors, and parenting skills. I trust in the Lord with all of my mind, heart and soul. If I didn't, I would have given up a LONG time ago. But yes, I am constantly worried for them. I HATE this time. It's miserable. It is the worst feeling ever. I know very few people can relate or understand. I know my love for my children will grow so much more once we are together; but the love I have right now is stronger than any other love I have ever had for a person. So to be separated from your children because of bureaucracy is torture.

I feel like crying on most days. Every time I see children our boys' age leads me to agony. Yesterday we were riding the train to the beach. It was Nick's first train ride :). In the seat behind us was the cutest little boy. His hair was about the same length as little D's (in his latest picture) He was the exact same age. I almost cried as I watched him play, talk to his mom, and then ask to sit on her lap. My heart ached for the moment when I will be able to play, talk with and comfort our sons. Every day is one more day of their childhood that we are missing. One more day that they are a number, statistic, dare I say orphan. I am sick of this. Why should they remain orphans for so long after we said yes? In fact I believe we cried yes. God said yes. Yes this will be your family. Please continue to pray for a court date soon.

Heavenly Father,

I know my ways are not your ways. I know my understanding is not as yours is. I thank you and praise you for all that you have done. For no other could form such a beautiful life. No other could coordinate such a spectacular world. I thank you for your mercy and grace for I know I am not deserving. Lord, I ask that you protect Little D and Big S. Keep them safe and brave. I ask that you surround them with your angels. Place them in the hands your workers. I ask that soften the hearts of the officials in Ethiopia and you move the court process quickly. I know you know the pain of a parent, Lord. I pray that you grant Nick and I peace as we continue to wait. I ask that you continue to send love and support through our brothers and sisters in you. I ask all these things in your name,

Amen

No News and Life Keeps Ticking Away

2010-01-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well we haven't heard anything from our agency all last week or this week. I was hoping for a miracle or someone one in the courts to say "let's rush this since it has already been a while." But so far nothing.

Luckily it's a busy time at work. We are starting to prep the students for the dreaded State Testing. (I know testing is in April, but we start practicing skills, types of questions, and sample tests now.) It is amazing how much pressure we put on our children. I am so nervous for our kids to start school. They will be at such a disadvantage. And personally as an educator and soon to be Mom, I could care less about those tests. I have three important questions for my students to answer at the end of the year.

1. Did you try your hardest, even if you didn't like the assignment, subject, or teacher? (most of the time?)

2. Were you respectful to all the students and teachers?

3. What did you learn about yourself in the past ten months?

If I do my job right, the student's will learn to read more effectively, acquire new math skills, discover science, and learn American History. But if I truly teach them about life, they will be pushed to their limits, where they will learn about themselves. I will treat them with respect, showcasing each of their unique talents (sometimes, these are quirks). And they will try their best because they want to learn.

None of these skills are tested however. We are raising a group of children, to be multiple choice thinkers. Which is the best answer without having to create a sentence of their own. We are creating self-centered learners. Just do better than those around you to prove your worth. We are creating a genuine indifference to learning because they are learning what they have to and not what they want to.

So as we start to prepare for the CST's, life will keep ticking away. This is both good and bad. Keeps me busy, but reminds me that we have so much to do.

Good news, still a long wait

2010-01-06T08:25:00.000-08:00

So on Sunday, we were told that our case will get to move forward. So for 2 1/2 weeks we knew that our case was not going to be heard. Well this weekend the MOWA changed their mind about our case. It was the best news we have ever heard. So where does this put us?

We are basically back at square one. Our paper work has been turned in. Which means our case has been applied for a court date. Typically, a court date will be assigned in 4-6 weeks. The date is usually another 4 weeks later and then there is a tentative Embassy date 4-6 weeks later, which is when we would travel. So long as we pass court on the first time, it is 18 weeks at the longest before we will go.

So we could have our boys by Mid May I guess. So PLEASE PRAY for expediency; I would prefer March at the latest. While we are praising God for his faithfulness, there is still a long road ahead of us.

We got lots of pictures on Monday from a wonderful family that traveled to the orphanage. They have grown so much. I was also able to talk with her about them. She said our youngest is REALLY shy, (its very apparent in the pictures). He would only whisper to her. We were able to send small gifts to them and they were very excited to get them. She said our oldest was outgoing, happy and friendly. She said they both looked healthy. Such good news to hear. Last night was the first night that I have slept through the night in at least two months. Pure Bliss.

Thank you for all of the support. Please, please keep praying for us. We have hit so many bumps, I don't know what reality is anymore. I know our God will deliver. It's so hard to let it be in his time. But I have given it over again.

Hallelujah!!! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

2010-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Great news today!!!! The boys are at the transition home and our case will be heard. No court date yet, very few details. But one new pic. They have grown so much in the last six months.

Our God is so faithful. The sermon today was about the power of prayer. I will link it to my next post if you want to hear. As soon as I find out more info I will let you know. Thank you for your prayers the last 2 1/2 weeks. Please continue to pray for expediency. We still have a long way to go.

We need to get a court date, pass court and then be scheduled an embassy appointment. So we might still be looking at 10 -12 weeks before we travel. But the unknown ban has been lifted. Have a great Sunday night.

Praise the Lord. I am thankful in all things. Thankful that you are awesome.

Failure before Officially Starting

2009-12-31T05:50:00.001-08:00

Is it possible to fail your children before you ever meet them? A mother is supposed to protect her children. Yet I can't do a darn thing. In the last two weeks, I have looked at every option available to expedite, advocate, and educate myself with this adoption. These are my children, whether it is recognized legally or not, and I am willing to do whatever I can to get them home where I know they are safe. Unfortunately, there isn't much. I have already failed them. So in the meantime, I am trying to stay sane so I am not a complete basket case by the time they finally come home to us.

Many people, trying to be supportive, have said "it's all in God's perfect timing." Well, I don't think so. God's perfect timing doesn't include parents dying and children being orphaned. That sounds a hell of a lot more like Satan's perfect timing. Satan has worked his way so far into the bureaucracy of adoption it is unreal. I know God will get us through. It will be perfect timing when it really does happen, but it would have been perfect timing six months ago, a year ago, three years ago. It's going to be perfect because it will actually be happening. Another thing we have heard often is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Again this is wrong. God is giving us more than we can handle on our own. I know the only way I am still functioning is because I know that God has his arms around us. We may be falling but God will be there to catch us before we disappear. I think God allows really bad things to happen to draw us nearer to him.

No one ever said it was going to be easy because we have faith, our salvation, the grace from the creator himself. In fact, I truly believe the tighter you get with God, the closer your walk, the stronger your faith, the more Satan throws at you. It's like putting a big target on your back. Well Satan is working his magic. There are a multitude of emotions that have gone through this family lately.

All I have to say is bug off. Go pick on someone else. These are our children and we will wait until they are adults if we have to. My God is stronger than you. He is stronger than me. He is stronger than the courts and the governments. My God is perfect. And He will deliver us from evil. So go rear your ugly head somewhere else. Because our faith is actually stronger. Our marriage is better. And we are ready to fight back. Our journey has been difficult but we just get stronger each day. I might have failed today, but one day we will succeed at this.

Looking Forward to 2010

2009-12-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

We survived Christmas. We had a wonderfully relaxing weekend. The cabin we rented was very cute. There was a few inches of snow on the ground and we had a roaring fire the entire time. This weekend away was exactly what we needed. I could go a few hours at a time not thinking about our current situation. We watched several movies and just enjoyed each other's company. I hope you all had a beautiful Christmas.

We are looking forward to 2010 and forgetting how crummy 2009 was. This year... My parents will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. My brother in law will return from Afghanistan. and hopefully we will be united with our boys. So many great joys to look forward to. Forget the past and the pain and look to the joy that tomorrow might hold.

All I want for Christmas

2009-12-24T15:14:00.000-08:00

So this is the fourth Christmas that I have asked for a family for my gift. 5 actually but the first one, we weren't officially trying, so I won't count it. Four years. I am tired of being told that we are learning patience. It's not patience. It's a lack of control. There isn't one gosh darn thing that we can do about it. (Short of kidnapping) and I am not about to go that far. This is the worst Christmas wait though. I have been thinking about the season and my attitude this week and this is what I have concluded.

Today and Tomorrow is about God's promise. For thousands of years he told of a Messiah. Tonight we celebrate the birth of the Messiah! We celebrate God's kept promise. I know God says that he will grant us the desires of our hearts. I know that he will keep his word. If there was ever a promise to break, it would have been sending Jesus to the Cross for my sins. So I am uplifted. I know God will bring us our boys. We will be parents and our children will no longer be orphans. Another of God's promises.

So God grant us peace and wisdom. Thank you for Your Son and Our Salvation. And oh yeah, Happy Birthday!!!

Staying Busy

2009-12-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

I must admit I am doing o.k. If I am busy, I can keep it together. But if I stop or am alone for a little bit, my mind and emotions get the best of me. Today, I am going to run many errands. So this should be good for me. I have some last minute shopping to do and then I am going to plan the menu for our long weekend. I am so excited. I can't wait. It snowed all last night so it should be very pretty up there.

Yesterday my sister, who was so supportive, and I went to many stores exchanging and taking clothes back. Many of the receipts will expire soon and if the kids don't come until summer, none of the clothes would fit by next winter. It was so hard. I truly felt like some one died. I made it through all the stores without crying until I went to Osh Kosh, where I returned the first outfit that I had bought them. What a crappy situation. What a bummer. Oh well, It's just stuff right. My boys are still safe and well. Just not with us.

Please continue praying for my kids, for the adoption, for our marriage, for strength and for our faith. Thank you for every one's prayers and kind words. It means so much to us.

48 hours later

2009-12-19T15:32:00.001-08:00

We are still confused and hurt. I have been piecing information together trying to make sense of it all. I am in no way saying this is the absolute truth, but I think I have an idea of the timeline and process in which our boys were made originally adoptable and now are not.

June- the boys were placed in the orphanage and on the waiting list with CHI

Aug- Nick and I inquired about the boys background

End of Aug.- the Ethiopian Courts closed

Sept- We accepted the referral (the paper work begins for our orphanage)

Oct.- MOWA has a week of meetings for new guidelines (This is when they changed the relinquishment rules) Then the courts re-opened

End of Oct.-Director of Orphanage passes away (most of the paper work has been completed by him along with the relinquishment from father)

Nov.- New director takes over

Beg of Dec- Paperwork is redone and he brings our boys to HOH.

Beg of Dec- They are turned away because they were missing a piece of paper from MOWA

Last Week- New director is told they are not hearing relinquishment cases

Today- Anger, grief, sadness, faith and yes fear.

The explanation as we understand it:

The MOWA is writing new guidelines or restrictions to the relinquishment policies. While they are writing the policies, the local governing branch has decided to wait for the completion of the new guidelines. The only silver lining is that our boys will still qualify regardless of the guidelines. It's not an IF we can bring them home, its when we can bring them home. So we are just waiting.

There are somethings that are very different in Ethiopia. First, you can not question government officials; you can be thrown in jail. Second, We have been told not to contact MOWA as the boys are not legally ours and we can not represent them. Third, communication between Ethiopia and us seems to be vague. (If a question has not been directly asked, then the info is not divulged.) Fourth, our agency is closed for the next two weeks so we wont know much. Fifth, there is no way for us to contact the orphanage directly.

Thank you for all the support and prayers. They are much needed. It has been very difficult. It is hard to explain the situation to people because I tend to fall apart. We are trying to stay positive. This is easier because we both know with every fiber of our body that God has set a path for these beautiful boys to be our sons. So like I said we wait. In the meantime, Nick and I are taking off for Christmas. We rented a cabin with no other cabins in sight and we are going to hunker down for the holidays. We look forward to playing games, talking, reading, cooking and watching movies together. We need to get away and relax. I have been a big ball of emotions for the last two months and this week has taken everything out of me.

Please continue to pray. Pray for our boys to be safe. Pray that they are brave. Pray that they feel loved. Pray that the Hearts of the government officials are softened and this blows over quickly. Pray that we endure the pain and learn from it. Pray that we continuously look to God for strength. (It's easy to let Satan dissuade us) Pray that Nick and I support each other. Pray for the millions of other orphans that don't have parents who are ready to sell every thing they own just to be with them.

Update

2009-12-17T21:23:00.001-08:00

Today we had a conference call with our agency. Apparently the region where our boys are located, Asela, is no longer handling relinquished cases. The MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) will not sign our paper work because they aren't doing relinquished cases. What does that mean?

That there is no way around them and we are on hold till they decide they will handle the cases. So... we were told to be patient. It might only be days, could be weeks, even months before our paperwork will be completed and we can finally get a court date in Addis.

I can't handle being patient any longer. My children are being raised in an orphanage now. They recently lost their mother and their father is in prison. That by my standards is not relinquished. There is no parent able to care for our children. So for some jacked up reason, our kids are now paying the consequence.

It looks like they may end up spending an entire year in the orphanage. It kills me. I truly feel like someone has ripped out all of my organs. The kicker is... We are the only case that is affected so I am sure there is no rush. I am happy that no one else is going through this, but why oh why did this have to be us.

I am trying to stay positive... but all I can do is cry. I am crying for myself, my husband and all of the missed opportunities we are having to bond and love, for some bureaucratic BS that no one can explain.

I am at a loss. I am taking all of their clothes back to exchange sizes because they are going to be too small already. I knew this road would be bumpy, but today we flew of the bluff. We are waiting to land and assess the damage.

WTF

2009-12-17T14:50:00.001-08:00

12 weeks of the most Anticipation EVER!!!

2009-12-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Today marks twelve weeks since the official referral. Please God, let us get a court date soon.

Silver Lining

2009-12-15T17:44:00.000-08:00

I am going to start with the Greatness of God first. Then the frustrations later. Changin' it up for once.

Okay, so this waiting has not been easy but I decided to turn my attention away from the adoption and focus back on God. It was the best way I could have ended my week, last week. On Saturday, I was able to meet with our Pastor and a couple of great people from church in Redlands. We met at a great restaurant, Martha Greens if you are in the area, for breakfast. Before we ate though, we prayed together then separated to pray for the people in Redlands. We walked around the downtown area, in the rain I might add, praying. I was able to walk with a great friend and we prayed together for people everywhere. I was able to focus on God's calling: to share God's love and word. I felt wiped clean and renewed. Awesome. Then we ate, a delicious warm breakfast, and talked. It was a God filled morning.

Then today, I was having a difficult day with two boys in my class. They can not stop arguing. The day ended with a suspension. While I was having a conference with his mom, my wonderful coworkers prepared the library for a surprise shower for our kiddos. I came in to the library with my principal and there was the cutest cake. On one side was the US and the other was Africa. In the middle was a plane. (I forgot to take a picture before it was almost gone.) I was completely surprised. Everyone was there and no one spilled the beans. Almost, but I was clueless. I work with the best people. The five members of my grade level are great friends. I am truly blessed. Not very many people can say that they would choose the coworkers to be close friends even if they didn't work together. So Again, I am blessed.

On to the Crappy week and a half.

1. Last Tuesday I was run into by a woman who thought it was wise to drive with her window completely covered in ice. She thought she new the road well enough to drive blind.

2. Worked a whole lot on my days off.

3. Caught a really sore throat. Cough, fever, the whole gamut.

4. Was told by our agency that the reason we are still waiting, is that there isn't a high priority from the orphanage to bring the boys and paperwork to the capital because it takes all day to do it and they are waiting until there is more business to conduct. So now, they decide to be more efficient.

5. Lady that hit my car seems to be lying about actually having car insurance. There is no record of her with her insurance agency. Great!

6. My school district screwed up the amount being taken out of my paycheck and they want to take two thousand dollars out now this month to make it up. I inquired twice to make sure it was correct and was assured it was.

7. I spilled a pot of soup on my legs. It was scalding and I blistered my legs and ruined my favorite jeans.

So after listing the bad week I had; I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought. The car can be fixed. Everyone was safe. Working on my days off is helping offset the cost of travel. The sore throat only lasted 4 days. We have uninsured motorist insurance. We booked a wedding which is about the amount of the money we owe the school district. And my legs will heal soon, I hope. So there is always a silver lining. Sometimes you just really have to search for it.

Let's pray for Good news about our boys soon. Tell everyone you know to pray.

What I deserve?

2009-12-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

This was my scripture of the day...

Does God treat you the way you deserve?

Praise the Lord, I tell myself; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's! The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly. He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious; he is slow to anger and full of unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we desire. For his unfailing love toward those who love him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west.

Psalm 103:1-12 NLT

What did I learn today? Stop whining and start praising. Because I should be thankful!!!

Thank you Lord, for you are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Thank you for becoming the least of these. Thank you for being just. Thank you for your word. Thank you that I have been given the opportunity to know, love and worship you. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for the daily blessings, of food, a warm home, clothing, a great job, a loving family, the freedom to worship you. Thank you for the men and women fighting for that freedom. Thank the people you sent before us to fight for you, Lord. Thank you for the people you have sent today to fight for you Lord. Thank you for all you have done, and continue to do. Thank you for my sons, Lord. I know your plan is bigger, better and different from mine, Lord. Please help me not to be so self serving that I do not learn from this journey. I trust you Lord with my heart, mind, and soul. I give up my worries to you because you are my God. Please forgive me for my sins.

Amen

Cookies and Babies

2009-12-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight we are going to decorate sugar cookies in with our Bible study. The people in our Bible Study are more than that. They are family. Both Nick and I are blessed to have the greatest families. Our parents are very supportive, loving, caring and we have a lot of fun when we get together. So we feel all the more blessed to have this extended family through Christ.

These people have seen us through our high times and our low. God has truly put this group together to help us through life. Each person brings their unique gifts and love. I can say I have cried with these people more than any others. There have been tears of joy, pain, loss, sympathy, anger, laughter, and fear. I have never felt judged. Only love. We all come with our silly quirks, but everyone is accepted for who they are.

So tonight, we make cookies. These cookie decorating parties are really a psychological evaluation to each person's soul. We have the perfectionist, the bedazzler, the Arts and Crafty person, the momma, the abstractist and the eater of the cookies (me). It is really funny to see the final productsw. Some look like Martha Stewart's Masterpieces and some look decorated by someone's toes. But the best part is that they all taste delicious.

And this afternoon I am fortunate enough to take pictures of our neighbors 6 day old baby boy. I am so excited. Babies are only newborns for a few days. So to be able to capture this is truly special. Well I am off to a day full of blessings. Maybe we will hear some good news today. Here's to praying.

Ready and Waitng

2009-12-05T20:17:00.000-08:00

I was not created to wait. I do everything quickly. I am a problem solver. I am a go getter. If there is an end then I will find a way to get there. However, starting a family has been nothing but a waiting game. While we were trying to get pregnant, you waited through your cycle. Looking for the signs of ovulation and then waiting for the dreaded "time of the month" only to be crampy and bloated. Then the waiting would start all over.

Then we went to a doctor. We took lots of test and alas... more waiting. Waiting for results, consultations, recommendations, and then the bill to it all. We decided that was not the route for us. So we then started researching adoption agencies. We finally decided on CHI and applied. Low and behold we had to wait again. I had to turn 25 before they would accept us. It was only a few weeks away but it was more waiting.

Then we finally got all of the paper work done, got it turned in and some of it was older than 6 months and had to be done again. So round two was finally finished and the turned in our gigantic Dossier to our agency. We were actually on the official waiting list, which was supposed to be 4-6 months. Well ten months later, we were still waiting and and that was when we first laid eyes on our beautiful sons. Unfortunately someone else saw them that same day and requested their information. So I felt it was a sign and that we were meant to continue waiting until our family was ready.

A month later our sons were back on the list and we prayed. This was the first time I didn't mind waiting. I knew God was working and talking to us. Every time I opened the Bible there was more scripture that pointed the direction we were meant to go. Two weeks later we knew without a shadow of a doubt that these boys were meant to be ours.

We accepted the referral only to be told there was more waiting. We would wait on our social worker, and then the agency to have some of our paperwork changed over. Another 3 weeks passed and we officially accepted the referral. The next set of wait time was 3-4 months. This was to be until we were able to actually pick up our kiddos. Well BS. It will be longer. There has been one unforeseen delay after another. Every time we talk with our case worker she is "confident I will have good news for you soon." Well I guess soon is relative. I want good news like five weeks ago. It has now been 10 1/2 weeks and I am sick of waiting. We are the last to get a court date. The only kids not moved to the HOH. Our boys are getting older every day! The time is now. We have waited, we have been patient, we have been kind.

It is time for some people to get the lead out of somewhere and get the paperwork done. We are done waiting. The boys have got to be done waiting. IT IS TIME!!! So please pray for good news soon. Even if it's just that they were moved. There is another family traveling in less than 10 days and it would be great if we could get some updated pictures. It would make it feel real. Right now it feels like we are being duped. I know we aren't, but despair is seeking in.

We keep seeing others get court dates, and we are excited for them we really are, but it is frustrating to be passed up. If you are still reading my complaints... thank you. If not I understand. There has been a lot of grumbling lately. I guess I was created to wait after all, whether I like it or not. Somethings are not in my hands. Nothing is really.

Fundraising

2009-12-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

For the first time we are trying our knack at Fundraising for the adoption. We felt like there were better needs that could be met other than our adoption. Like funding the actual orphanages. However, we didn't factor in the price of two one way tickets back. The kids are old enough that there is no reduction. And in all the research we have done so far, the one way tickets are close to the same price as the round trip. Scary!!! For Nick and I to fly round trip it's about 1900 and for the kids to go one way, it's about 1500, so we are looking at 7000 just to travel. That's not including a place to stay, food to eat, and excursions. Aye Yaye Yaye!

So we are doing Holiday photos that go purely to the adoption. If you know anyone that lives in So Cal, we are taking family portraits for a very low fee. I am also doing Boudoir photos for any ladies that are stumped on presents to give their man this year. The photos are very tactful and only accentuate your beauty. Once women start they have a lot of fun. And their hubbies enjoy the final product as well. If you know anyone who would be interested, send them our email its Unforgettableportraits@gmail.com.

So far we have raised about $600 dollars. Thank you active participants. We love you dearly. Yeah, we are chipping away at the travel costs. The prospect of having to start family life in debt is going away. Wahoo!!!

New Moon--Team Jacob

2009-12-02T21:59:00.000-08:00

So tonight my Twilight friends and I finally got to see New Moon. I read these books on Christmas Break one year. I could not put them down and went through some separation anxiety when I finished the series. I felt like I lost a few friends when I was done. I know that this is like 17 year old romance but it's so much more.

The interactions and emotions of the book are described so well that your body actually aches for Bella. This was not captured in the first movie. I know it was a low budget film and all but there was some major let down and did not live up to the book.

New Moon however, improved 150%. The desperation of Bella was still not on target; but I think they didn't want people getting depressed for 2 hours. The actors have matured some and the effects were actually good. I am glad Victoria had fiery red hair in this film as opposed to the strawberry blond she was in the first film.

I must say the entire time I read this series, I was pulling for Jacob. He is the fun light hearted not all full of turmoil guy. I love how the relationship ends though. Very Clever Stephanie Meyer!!! I am so excited that the second flick rose to the occasion because the books were so good. Thank you Hollywood.

And on the adoption front, we heard some news today, not sure if it was good or bad news but our agency didn't know that the boys father had not yet relinquished his rights until this week. They did not tell us this till now? Ten weeks later? But the good news is that he did relinquish his rights and they can get moving on the paper work. So yeah!!! There was a reason for the hold up after all. It's just that no one knew why. So hopefully not that hoop has been jumped through we can hear some good news. Please keep praying for us, our boys, and all the orphans throughout the world.

Spirits are Up

2009-11-30T21:58:00.000-08:00

I have spent several days down in the dumps. I am usually a very bubbly, happy, positive person but the last few weeks have been very difficult. (For many reasons)

This week at church we had a guest speaker. He encouraged us to write down our blessings. Write a list like we did when we were kids writing out our Christmas List. He said amazingly enough the moment you start thinking about it, the more gratitude you have. Well I did this today with my fifth grade students. I started and they wrote their own lists. We had fifteen minutes of silence and very quickly the lists were being flipped over to use the back of the papers.

This worked so well to encourage me. I know there have been set backs to Nick and I starting a family. But each set back has lead us to something new, different, and better. I am not sure how this delay is making us better. But I know it is.

This weekend we decorated the tree and Nick hung the lights on the house. Here are a few pics.

I absolutely love having the house decorated. There is a type of cheer that is undeniable to everyone. When we were done decorating we sat down, drank some hot cider and watched Elf. That is a great Christmas movie. Very happy and the happy elf is adopted.

Oh yeah and the best part of the weekend... we woke up on Saturday and there was snow on the mountains and hills all around us. Everything seemed so clean and new. So I figured it was time to clean up and get a new attitude.

Relax

2009-11-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

The courtyard at Thorton

Yesterday my sister and I decided to take our Mom in-law's to Thorton Winery. It is this beautiful winery in Temecula. It is a little different from most of the wineries in that you are seated at a table and you are served. You can choose your theme of wines to choose. My favorite is the reserve flight. You start with a tasting of champagne, move on to their estate Syrah (which is to die for), proceed to a delicious cab and finish with a zinfandel. It is the perfect adult afternoon. There is great food, great wine, great location and great company.

I am trying to do all of the things I love that will go by the wayside once the kiddos come. I am ready to hand over these activities but that's because I have been making sure to get my fill now.

Today is one of my favorite days of the year for two reasons. I start baking which won't stop for a couple of months. Today I will be making loaves of potato bread, pecan pie and maybe a pumpkin roll. I love cooking. Even though it's supposed to be 85 tomorrow :( I am excited to start the oven up and start baking. Then today is the day when we get the Christmas decorations down from the garage. The lights will go up on Saturday and hopefully the tree will be up by the end of the weekend. We are those crazy people that stand in line early Friday morning for the sales. We have saved lots of money getting the electronics we need in the past. Ooohh I love it. People are usually in a great mood and there is a commodore between all of us crazzzzzy shoppers.

So here's to turkeys, pies, lights and shopping. Oh yeah and the absolute best part: Lots and Lots of family. Which means get ready to laugh.

Thanksgiving Blues

2009-11-24T03:30:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving is this Thursday... I know that there is so much to be thankful for. But I am a little frustrated. No, that's an understatement. I am pissed.

A friend was going to take update photos of our babies this week while she was picking up her sweet little Marley, but due to the miscommunication from our agency, that won't be happening. I have never been pregnant but new photos is the adoption version of feeling the baby kick. It makes it all real. We have been staring at the same pic since July. Not that they will have changed that much, but right now I feel like we just paid a whole lot of money and went through the emotional journey of a life time to be given a photo and that is supposed to be good enough.

With the delays from the embassy and the delays from the orphanage (our agency says there is no delay but it's been almost 9 weeks since referral) it is driving me crazy. I am quickly unraveling. It would be like getting to your ninth month and being told to wait two more months because the doctor didn't file your paper correctly, so hold on and don't get mad because it was an honest mistake. Oh and on top of that, if the nurse hadn't told you you wouldn't have known why anyways. Yes! That's what we were told when we inquired. (And during that two months your baby could be in pain, sad, scared, sick, tired, hungry... you don't know because someone else is in charge of your baby, not you.) Is that supposed to make me grateful, appreciative, trusting?

I don't think so. What kind of response is that. It's like, I'm sorry we told you it was a cold but you really have this incurable disease. We misfiled your lab results and you could have been cured but now you can't. Ahhhh. It's absolutely maddening. I am rolling through this constant situation in my head. I guess this is part of parenting. You are constantly worried about your children. I just wish there was something some one would do to remedy their mistake other than say oopps. I know that things are different in Ethiopia. But this is why there is the American agency that is supposed to ensure things are done correctly, and if not, at least make sure something is done to correct it. Or so I thought.,

I don't want to be all complain-y right before Thanksgiving; I know there is a lot to be thankful for. It's like trying to be thankful for water when your drowning in it. I know not as drastic as that... No one is sick or dying but my goodness, when can we get off the ride and start life as a family?

Time in Little Ethiopia

2009-11-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

Last week I went to LA to turn in our updated home study. We needed a new one because the old one expired and Immigration required it. We could have mailed it in but with our luck, it would sit on some one's desk in the wrong department or something. So my sister and I drove to LA, we hit no traffic which is a blessing in itself, and hand delivered the document. We were in and out of the Federal Building in 20 min. That item is checked off. What a relief.

Brooke and I decided to eat lunch in Little Ethiopia. It's on Fairfax between Washington and Ethiopia, if anyone is wondering. We ate at a little restaurant that had a vegetarian buffet. This is the fourth time we have eaten in Little Ethiopia. I feel like a horrible mother because I do not like the Injera. Injera is a crepe-like bread that is really sour. It is the base for meals. Most of the food is cooked like a stew. They then place the different stews on top of the Injera. You then tear off the Injera and pick up the bite of stew. I like all of the stewed vegetables. They are cooked with turmeric and onions, garlic and ginger. The flavor is really good. But I have a hard time eating the Injera with it.

Here is a picture of the meal. I didn't think to take a picture until I was half way done, so its a little messy.

The reason I feel like a bad mother: the only like, hobby, interest listed on our kids referral was Injera. Insert sinking stomach feeling.

We decided to go shopping in the Merkato and an Ethiopian Clothing store. We first entered and the smell of incense and maybe hookah was so thick. It takes you by surprise. But after a few minutes you can adjust to it. On the left side of the market the wall is lined with Ethiopian movies and music. There are flags, books, pictures, clothing scattered on the right wall and sitting at the counter are three Ethiopian men. In the back are ingredients and spices and Ethiopian beer.

After gathering the ingredients to make a few recipes, including Injera, we started a conversation with the woman behind the register. We showed her pictures of my boys and she was so excited for us. She was excited that they were older. She told us how to pronounce our oldest' name. I am glad she did. The true pronunciation is beautiful. She then told us how they make the lentils and vegetables. She gave me her number if we have any problems with translating or if they are home sick. She was so gracious and excited I was reinvigorated.

We then went across the street to the clothing store and the lady there was just as excited. We both bought a necklace. She said we had to bring them in and then told us information about the country. She told us about the area where the boys orphanage is located. She said it is in the country side. It is a poorer region where it is very rural. She said we need to make sure we get out there because it is beautiful.

I feel so blessed that this wonderful resource is so close. We can take the kids to get a very small taste of home. We plan to go once a month if that is possible.

Grace Amongst Chaos

2009-11-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a difficult weekend. Everything that could possibly go wrong did. It started with a broke down car, proceeded to delays in the adoption, moved to canceling date night, continued on with a really rude cat lady at the grocery store, endured a broken sensor on our camera during a photo shoot (which ended the shoot in about 15 min), and finalized with our TV breaking. All this occurred on Friday and Saturday. I felt like whatever we touched, talked about, worked on, broke.

But two glorious hours on Sat, we worshiped. Not with music or even a message. We were able to be part of a group that packed bags of food for people in Tanzania. Through Africa Harvest of Hope, we packaged 25,000 meals in two hours. Talk about glorifying God. It was the best two hours I have had since we got our referral. Whatever frustrations I was having were totally removed. The entire time I also had a thought that somewhere someone else could be packaging food for Ethiopians. This food might go to a distant relative, family friend, or the orphanage of my boys. The world immediately felt small. And God seemed so big.

Thank you for blessing me God. Even in the chaos of the world problems; God is so much bigger. I will learn. I do trust. I have faith.

Check out this organization. It started with a local couple that not only wants to make a difference; they devised and carried out a plan to make a difference. They broke the huddle and got in the game. They are very inspiring. www.africaharvestofhope.org

More Setbacks = More Heartache

2009-11-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

On Friday, we received a call from our case worker. I was expecting her to call sometime soon to tell us that we have a court date. All of the referrals from the same week as ours have received their court date.

She started the call with "I have some bad news but your boys are ok." Never good words to hear. The director of the orphanage where our boys were is no longer with the orphanage. He is the person who gathers most of the paperwork for the court hearings. Oh No! She says there won't be delays because the courts and MOWA are stepping in to keep the process rolling.

This is good news no? Well you see she proceeds to tell me that our boys are still at the orphanage. There was a mix up and one of the papers was not filed and our kids are still at the orphanage. This is where tears start to roll.

First, How on Earth did they not know where our kids were? This is kinda their job. Who knows what could have happened and no one would have known because they were supposed to be in Addis, not the orphanage.

Second, There is a family traveling next week that was going to take some updated pictures for us so we can see how they have grown. Information is very limited. I was excited to hear how the interaction went. Are they shy, boisterous, outgoing, playful, sick? Now that may not happen because they haven't been moved yet.

Third, At the House of Hope, the transition home, they start preparing the kids. Again, not happening.

Fourth, if this paper isn't filed how much longer until the rest is filed before we can get our court date.

I know that trials are supposed to bring us closer to God. I know I am relying on God. But Satan sure is testing faith. Our boys need to come home. They need parents. They need consistency. Please pray for our kids. Pray for the courts. Pray for Numan Orphanage. Pray for expediency. Pray for justice. God says the orphans will get fathers. Pray for that. Pray for God's will. And if there is time Pray for my sanity. I feel like I am losing it.

Love, Love, Love

2009-11-08T19:13:00.001-08:00

This weekend was filled with love. It started with the exchanging of wedding vows between my best friend and her best friend. It was a beautiful day. Beautiful setting, Beautiful Bride, and Beautiful ceremony. It was small and intimate. Just what the couple ordered. Now they are spending 2 weeks in Jamaica. What a way to spend the first two weeks of your married life. I am so excited for them.

"I Do"

Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Lastra

Watching the Bride and Groom

Then on Saturday we had our adoption shower. I know that we are blessed. We both have an amazing family. Our parents are so supportive of the decisions we have made in life. Our siblings are funny, loving, and make our life fun along the journey. Our aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents are all so eager to meet the two newest members of the family. And then there is the extended family, our church family. We have been blessed with great friends that have known us since childhood. So there is this huge group of people that have been praying for our family. So now that the time is near, we all got together to celebrate.

What a celebration it was. The merriment in the house was so joyous. People were filled with questions and anticipation. All of the kids were eager to meet the new members. They were disappointed to learn that their cousins are still in Ethiopia, but they were excited for the occasion. There was so much food. We ate tacos until our hearts were content. It was so much fun. I was overwhelmed by the amount of love.

Our boys are already taken care of. They have clothes for all seasons. Awesome bikes, video games, board games, lots of great books and all of the little boy toys you can imagine. Thank you to everyone who joined in our celebration. We know that we are blessed in so many ways. We love you all and look forward to a life time of memories.

Here is one shot of all the presents for our kiddos. We were told that we would now need a storage unit for all of their gifts.

Oh the joy of being a Bridesmaid!!!

2009-11-05T12:00:00.001-08:00

This Friday, tomorrow, I am the bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. There is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes of a wedding and it isn't just on the wedding day. But this morning I was thinking about all of the times we have had together and I felt so honored to be part of such a momentous day.

I love being married. I like being a wife, homemaker, friend, opposition and a lover. I think being married is God's greatest gift to people. I love that we have a choice. We choose our mates through quite a tedious process. (Well it should be anyway.) We go on dates, introduce them to our family and friends, share our secrets and most intimate moments and then after weighing all the negative against the positive we make a decision. If all the good qualities outweigh the few annoying ones, we have a match.

I got married early, we were twenty one. I have watched so many people go through the dating process. I think the more applicants there are the harder the choice. I love the fact that Nick and I didn't come to our relationship wounded from others. People will say "you missed out." or "how do you know that there wasn't someone else out there." But no matter how long your list is, this question still exists. So if the question is there regardless, isn't it easier to not have the long list of broken relations and pain? Just a question to the skeptics who think people who get married early are naive.

Nick and I know each other's stories because we were both there. We know our pasts better than any of our friends know us. We know what makes each other tick and why that makes us tick. Yet we were still pliable enough to grow together and share our commonalities, such as religion, politics, and humor.

I am so excited for Heather to join the journey. I am not stupid enough to know you don't have to fight for your marriage. But I know that she and Omar are a good match. I have watched her grow. She has learned to stand up for herself. He pushes her and she pushes back. They are equals in each other's eyes. I think that is very important. They both do things to make the other person happy. Again, this is huge. It can't be one-sided. So tomorrow at 4 o'clock after all the hair, make up and pictures, I get to be part of, witness to a God created moment. A moment of completeness. When two people make a promise to each other that their own needs are no longer first. A promise stray to no other. A promise make compromises when needed. A promise to be a best friend. And a promise to protect each other. What joy it is to be a Bridesmaid!!!

National Adoption Month

2009-11-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

This is National Adoption Month. It is quite timely. Our church has made a promise to support IJM, International Justice Mission, a really proactive organization that helps rid modern day slavery, sex trafficking, illegal seizure of property and many other crimes that God truly hates. We also belong to the Mocha Club. This organization takes 7 dollar donations, (the price of 2 mochas) and donates to different needs in Africa. We are currently supporting orphanages and education through the Mocha Club. Of course we are adopting the two most beautiful boys in the world. And yesterday my mother-in-law hosted two very gracious Ugandan boys from the Matiska Children's Choir. I feel like there are signs from Africa all over the place.

So last night we joined Kathy, my mother-in-law, and the two boys and chaperon from Uganda. The boys were 9 years old and 14 years old. The bright smiles warmed my heart. They were so cute. They were polite, gracious, and soooooo positive. They talked about being the first in their families to ever travel on a plane. The nine year old loves swimming and the 14 year old is totally fascinated by roller coasters. They talked about how cold the weather in Seattle was. How strong the coffee is and how Americans love their sweets. Everything was great, exciting, and happy. I loved every minute of that dinner. I started thinking about my boys and all of the stories that I hope they will remember from Ethiopia.

We finished the boys room just in time to learn that there are going to be delays in our time line. It seems that the MOWA, Ministry of Women's Affairs, need more time to process the paperwork in between Court and the Embassy appointments. This whole process has been a whole lot of hurry up and wait. I have never been so emotional in my whole life. We are so close, there is this big bright light at the end of the tunnel, yet it seems like the waiting will never end. I spent this weekend being angry at the "injustice".

I was mad. I have never been this mad before. Never. It was quite frightening. I prayed and my thoughts tended to lead right back to being frustrated at the people who were holding our kids hostage. I finally fell asleep Sunday Night and when I woke up I felt much more at peace.

I believe a big part of this has to do with my blogger friend, Elisa. When she heard the news, mind you she was supposed to travel later this week, she resorted to James 1:2 Consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything. I looked to a person I have never met but feel connected to very strongly and she had peace. And was working to find the joy in the situation.

I am not joyful that it may take a month longer but I am joyful the my God is faithful. I am joyful that my boys are safe. I am joyful that we no longer wait for the unknown. I am joyful that we have so much support. I am joyful that there are so many people that are waiting to love our kids. I am joyful that we are in the position to be able to afford this adoption. So thank you Elisa and thank you Lord.

I am joyful that it is National Adoption Month and there is more awareness for orphans around the world. Please pray for the millions and millions of orphans that don't have parents waiting to love them.

Happy Halloween

2009-11-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

This was our first year since our marriage that we have not had a huge Halloween Bash!!! With all of the preparations for becoming a family, we decided that this year was too busy. Good thing. We went and got all of our vaccinations on Friday. Yeah!!! One more item to check off the list. Shots were not bad but we woke up Saturday all feverish. Needless to say we were very happy that we were not transforming our home into a haunted house for the evening.

We were fortunate to join some great friends for chili and trick or treating. It was laid back and mellow. Just what the doctor ordered. Nick went trick or treating with the other husband and their children. The look on Nick's face was priceless. He absolutely loved walking around with the kids throughout the neighborhood. He was so excited to do this with our sons next year. It made me fall in love all over again.